SpouseBuzz

Ick, I'm the Crabby One

If I break in two, will you put me back together?When this puzzle's figured out will you still be around?--Uncle Tupelo

A couple of my friends have mentioned to me recently that right before deployment, their husbands have been acting like jerks.  This is quite well-documented as one of the Stages of Deployment.  It is not entirely uncommon for the deploying soldier to pull away emotionally from the family, because, as the link says, "From a psychological perspective, it is easier to be angry than confront the pain and loss of saying goodbye for six months or more."

Since my friends brought this up, I have been more finely attuned to the pre-deployment stage in my own household.  And armed with this meta-knowledge, I have come to realize something.

I'm the one acting like a jerk around here.

I've been unnecessarily crabby and mopey lately.  And I hate myself for it because I know what's causing it and why it's happening.  But I still can't seem to make myself stop being cranky.

Luckily, I am armed with this knowledge, so after I pout for a while, I can at least go up to my husband and apologize and blame it all on anticipatory grief.  At least it's good that I know why I'm acting crazy.

I just wish I could stop.

No one wants to spend the last weeks together in a grouchy mood.  I want to be feeling lovey-dovey and happy.  Unfortunately, in our household we have more emotional stress than just the deployment these days -- that's a whole different future SpouseBUZZ post -- and it's really taking its toll on me.  But I'm going to keep trying my hardest to force myself to stop the drama.

Thankfully, I do have a husband who will put me back together if I break in two...

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