I love my husband. I don't just love my husband, I ADORE my husband.
But sometimes, particularly in the middle of unpacking from a move, I find myself with some very rude urges towards my husband.
I think it all has to do with stress. No, scratch that, I KNOW it is stress induced. Because there are times I feel like this during deployment, run up to deployment, and holidays, too.
I get cranky, irritable, and snappish. And that's with exerting some self control!
When we move, I pack up the old house. I clean things, I get it ready for inspection. I arrange routes, I decide what goes and what gets packed. I figure out how to get my children to the last meeting of whatever activities they are involved in at the moment. I use up leftover food and suck up the complaints. I try to keep everyone occupied.
My husband, meanwhile, is ... outprocessing. Which takes all day and odd times of days. Then there's the good bye lunch/dinner, which is not always feasible for me to attend because I've got a pack of kids and no babysitting. And we're on a deadline with the move-out which I am in danger of missing. This time there was also a promotion party for hubby.
Now, none of this is my hubby's fault - and he tries VERY hard to help. When he is able to be at the TLF we're all smooshed into, he takes the kids and does laundry. He asks me if I need rubs. He does rub my feet a lot. He also brings me home yummy food so that I don't have to eat the horrible concoctions I foist on my children. He's a wonderful husband.
But I still get very irritated. VERY irritated. Because I know that at both ends I'm going to be doing the majority of this on my own while hubby gets to go off to exotic locales and sit in on some very interesting briefings about saving the world while I try to get poop stains off our new couch.
Ahhh, the mundane. Sometimes it stinks, doesn't it?
Anyway, I've had this happen during deployment, too. And it's quite silly. I mean, who in their right mind wants to be sitting in the middle of a hot sandy desert with people shooting at you unless it is your duty to go? I have to say that I most certainly do not. I'd much prefer to stay home and get kicked off the sets of talk shows.
But sometimes when I'm paying bills yet AGAIN (didn't I just do that last month?), taking another kid to the doctor for an ear infection, getting the car's engine overhauled, raking the lawn, and scooping dog poo - I do wish just for a while that I had my own Assistant/Secretary/House Cleaner/Chef/Scheduler/Party Planner to handle my mundane details and unpacking while I went out to save the world myself.
Then I put on my "Big Girl Pants" (as opposed to my "big a** pants", which are currently hanging in my closet hopefully never to fit again) and move on. Because really, I wouldn't trade what I do for anything. Those highs - they are really something to look forward to, even when I'm stuck in a very deep low.
And that husband? Well, right now he's doing the laundry again while he gives me some rest time on the computer. And earlier today he thanked me for everything I do and really meant it. He also promised me another rub tonight.
So really, I do think he's worth it all. Every bit of it.