I've had a flood of emotions the last few weeks regarding my husband being wounded in Iraq a little over 2 years ago. Not sure what's brought it back to the surface, but I spent about an hour the other night fighting tears, and then gave in and let them fall. I was alone in my bed while DH was in the living room. I wanted to go talk to him and let him know, but what would I say? How could I explain something that I couldn't even articulate myself? Once my husband came to bed and wrapped his arm around me, I was fast asleep.
Apparently my 7-year-old son has had a lot on his mind lately, too. For homework he had to write sentences using his spelling words for the week, one of which was the word "prevent" (it's Fire Safety Week).
His sentence: "I wish I could prevent the war in Iraq."
I asked him about his sentence and what was on his mind.
Son: "I wish I could prevent the war so Daddy didn't get hurt. I told Daddy not to get hurt, but he did anyway."Me: "Daddy didn't get hurt on purpose. Even the good guys get hurt" (we've had this talk before).Son: "I know. But it makes me sad when I see his scars and think about what happened to him."Me: "I know it's not easy, Bud. Mommy still gets sad too."
Next thing I know I am explaining skin grafts, nerve grafts, what an IED is, etc. Never thought I'd be discussing all of that with my seven year old. But I guess it's time. I also told my son to ask DH to show him some scars where he had the skin grafts so he could get a better grasp on the concept. I also reminded him that he only needs to see what he is comfortable with and he can ask us questions any time.
Even after two years, the memories and emotions of my husband being wounded can be very raw.