My husband and I are generally planners. The details of most things we do, fun and otherwise, are pretty well thought out. But I have noticed that since my husband returned from his last deployment, he's been a bit more spontaneous than he used to be.
I think military spouses learn very quickly to appreciate every moment we have with our spouse and family, even the unremarkable, quiet moments. In the back of our minds, we know our lives can change in the blink of an eye. Anything can happen to anyone, military or civilian, but the subject of mortality is a bit more front and center in the military community.
On Friday afternoon, I told you that I had no plans for the weekend, that I would just be hanging out at SpouseBUZZ. I thought that was the case, but before bedtime on Friday, my husband said, "pack a bag, we're heading out tomorrow." My first instinct was to launch a barrage of questions at my husband, and I started to do just that, but he let me know he had taken care of when/where/why and I just needed to pack.
So, Saturday afternoon we took off for two days. My husband had planned everything, but for me, it was a spontaneous adventure and all that really mattered was that we were together. I will confess to jumping on the computer a couple of times, but twice in two days really isn't that bad...
On the way home this afternoon, I was thinking about how wonderful our brief getaway was, and how only hours before we left, I had no idea that we would be leaving our town over the weekend, much less going on a mini-vacation. I was reminded of something Shelly Hall said at SpouseBUZZ LIVE San Diego. Someone asked her how her husband's death has effected the way she lives, and she answered (paraphrasing), "I used to want to control everything, but I don't do that anymore. I used to plan everything. I didn't pack for this trip until 2:00 this morning, and I had to leave at 6:00. I fly by the seat of my pants now."
I think we should all fly by the seat of our pants occasionally. Even for an organized planner, it feels good to toss the Day Runner aside and forget about what it says I'm supposed to be doing. Most of us can't live like that all the time, but it sure is nice to be able to do it on occasion.
We live in a constant deployment cycle these days. Who knows where, when and for how long my husband will be deploying next time. One thing's certain, when that next time rolls around, I'll be wishing my husband were here and that we were able to take off for a couple of days, at the drop of a hat. He won't be here. We won't be going away, but I will remember the time we did just that, and it will be a great memory to carry me along until we can do it again.
Now, back to that Day Runner...