The other night DH and I were watching a movie trailer on TV. I can't recall the name of the movie, but I do know there was a lot of "shoot 'em up stuff." There was a particular scene in the movie trailer and my husband suddenly says, "I really hate it when that happens."
Me: What are you talking about?
DH: That happened to me when I was in Iraq.
Me: Okay, I don't wanna know.
DH: It's no big deal. Let me tell you...
Me: No. I really don't want to know. Knowing that "it" actually happened to you is enough for me, thanks.
He was giving me his pathetic sad face and I thought I might as well hear his story. After all, maybe he wants to talk about it. Or I guess since he's okay and he's here with me, why should I worry about what happened?
Me: Fine. Go ahead and tell me.
So hubby told me what happened and I did my best not to over-react to his story. (I am not mentioning exactly what "it" was in order to spare anyone who may become upset).
The point is that there are things our spouses may some day tell us that can bring up memories and emotions from when they deployed. I don't ask my husband to "filter" much b/c I would rather he tell me these things than keeping them bottled up inside. And I know there are lots of stories he has not told me, and he never will. I'm okay with that.
But just so y'all know, if your spouse starts telling you something that makes you weak in the knees or you just want to plug your ears... speak up!!! Explain to your spouse that some things are better to tell someone else (like a fellow service member). It's not that we don't care about what happened while they were deployed, but sometimes ignorance is bliss. I know every possible detail of what happened when my husband was wounded (from him and from other soldiers who were with him when it happened). That stuff I wanted to know. But there are still other things, every now and then, that are better for him to share with his buddies. And it's okay for us spouses to tell them that we just "don't want to know."