Beer in the Rear


I'm pretty sure that this title will do little in the way of getting the SpouseBUZZ XXX rating reversed, but the title was just too applicable not to use. Besides, GBear has been busy destroying our once solid G rating too. Ah well, I'll beg for forgiveness later.

Last week, we had a section potluck dinner. Scrumptious dishes were on display. Some type of delicious pasta salad, an awesome black bean, corn and tomato dip with cilantro, a yummy hot fried rice dish. One of the wives commented to me that she loves potluck dinners. I think potluck dinners are much more interesting when they're hosted in military circles because the military really is a melting pot. We come from varied backgrounds, have lived all over the world and we have something unique to contribute. Military potluck dinners are "like a box of chocolates," you never know what you're going to get, but you can count on one thing - sampling some really great food.

My husband and I have been to a lot of these events, and we've tasted our share of delicious, interesting cuisine. We've been exposed to numerous rich, cultural dishes. I can list about ten exotic dishes that stand out. I can. My husband, unfortunately, cannot.

We went to a cook-out not long before our PCS move. The host made a dish called, "beer can chicken." Basically, you stick a can of beer in the chicken's rear end (otherwise known as the "cavity") and grill it. It was great, it really was, but I wouldn't put it in the top ten list of dishes that I've sampled. My husband, upon tasting it, has apparently listed beer can chicken as number one on his list, and now associates all-things-food with a drunk chicken. He won't stop talking about it.

When are you going to make beer can chicken?

We have a potluck next week, why don't you make beer can chicken?

Hey, tell them about beer can chicken.

Wonder who came up with the concept of sticking a can up a chicken's butt and cooking it?

Honestly, this has become an obsession and it has to stop. This week, I'm taking the first step in this beer-can-chicken-intervention. I will buy a chicken, pop open a can of beer, drink half of it, stick the other half in the chicken's rear end and grill that puppy chicken up. I'm hoping this will stop the incessant chicken chatter. I'm tired of hearing about it. And if it has unintended consequences like, say, my husband starts wanting more beer can chicken, I'm going put him up for auction on ebay.

Handsome, sweet man who loves beer and chicken, especially when they're combined, seeks woman who will make beer can chicken, share recipe freely, talk about it constantly and carry it to all military potluck dinners. Grill included. Auction starts now. Beginning bid is a 12-pack of Corona Light.   

Warning: Bidders must be able to do most of the things on this list.

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