A Frank Conversation About the Unthinkable


A couple of weeks ago, AWTM and I interviewed Kristin Henderson on SpouseBUZZ Talk Radio. We devoted the entire program to "anticipatory grief." That's a term that simply means that you grieve as if something bad has already happened, even though it hasn't. In my case, I was busy planning a funeral for someone who hadn't yet died. In AWTM's case, she was constantly going through the various "what if" scenarios. Unfortunately, the audio archive of that show is lost somewhere in cyberspace (groan). It was a great conversation.

Two weeks ago, we talked about what could happen. Tomorrow evening, we're going to talk about what did happen. Specifically what happened when two ladies had their lives turned upside down in the blink of an eye. One wife. One girlfriend. One unthinkable scenario - losing a loved one in the line of duty.

Shelly Hall's husband, 2nd LT Kelly Hall, was killed in a training flight. He left behind a wife and five children. Shelly has turned her grief into a force for good, working to help other military families cope with losing a mom or dad in the line of duty. Currently, Shelly is a mentor for TAPS. Her work is incredibly important to those she mentors and her horrifying experience has helped change the policies on how the Army deals with widows, something that sorely needed to be changed. AWTM and I have had the pleasure of meeting Shelly and let me tell you, she is a force of nature.


Shelly Hall

Melissa Sewell was due to marry SGT James Holtom this fall. Unfortunately, James was killed in Iraq on February 8, 2007. Melissa's blog can be found here. I know from the email that we receive, and from the comment section, that we have plenty of girlfriends who read SpouseBUZZ. When the love of your life is deployed, it matters little whether you are married or engaged or dating. What matters is that someone you love is in harm's way. This is why we wanted to have both a wife and a girlfriend on this show.

Join me and AWTM tomorrow evening at 9:00 p.m. EDT on SpouseBUZZ Talk Radio as we talk to Shelly and Melissa about losing their soldiers. On Friday morning, I'll follow this interview up with an interview featuring an official spokesperson for the Army's Long Term Family Case Management Team. We'll discuss the resources that are available to Army families who experience this sort of tragedy. That show will be closed to incoming calls, but you will still be able to listen live at 10:00 a.m. Friday morning by clicking here.

As always, we welcome your phone calls during our program. If you have a question or comment for Shelly and Melissa, you can call 646.478.5665. If you want to chat with us during the show on Yahoo IM, our Yahoo name is spousebuzz. Furthermore, if you can't listen live, feel free to leave a question or comment in the comment section here and we'll try to make sure it's asked during the show.

Update: Audio archive for this program can be found here and a follow-up post can be found here. The show with LTC Nora Linderman of the Army's Long Term Family Case Management Team can be found here.

As a reminder, if you miss any of our live shows, you can always play or download the archived version.

In less than two months, we've talked to normal everyday milspouses (my favorite show), a filmmaker, a rock star, two authors and an actress. I'll also tell you that we have some fantastic shows in the making. We're having a blast with the radio program and we hope you're enjoying it too. Previous shows can be found below:   

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