SpouseBuzz

Road Trip and "togetherness"

DH and I recently took a road trip of more than 2600 miles - from Seattle, WA to western PA!  He was TDY for the summer and I flew out to WA to meet him so we could drive back together, minus the children!  Something we've never done before.  The kiddos went to Grandma's and DH and I would spend a whole week+ together in the truck... and I was hoping we would survive the trip without one of us hitch-hiking the rest of the way home!

We managed to make it home, both of us together, and we still like each other!  That may sound rather harsh in context, but I am sure other milspouses can identify in some way with the feeling of "too much togetherness."  I'll explain what I mean...

DH and I have been married for 10 years.  We love each other unconditionally and love to be together and with our children.  But in the life of the military we tend to spend a lot of time apart - and I KNOW you all can identify with that!

Over the years when DH was home more (longer) than usual, we ended up getting on each other's nerves.  I always miss him as soon as he leaves, but sometimes a little time apart is good for our relationship.  You know the old saying: "Distance makes the heart grow fonder." 

Sometimes field exercises or TDY trips have been a "blessing" of sorts (NOTE: I did NOT say deployments!).  In the military world we get used to (or learn to cope with) time apart, and when our loved one returns things are fresh and new again (with a few added changes as we all grow and change daily). 

I remember (way back when) my sister called me and was complaining because her husband had been gone for TWO DAYS and wouldn't be home "until tomorrow."  Meanwhile, my husband was at NTC in CA and had been gone for FIVE WEEKS!  I have to admit I was rather harsh when I told her it was no big deal and how would she like it if her husband was gone for weeks/months at a time.  I apologized for my comment and told her that for me, two or three days was no big deal.  Fortunately she was understanding and accepted my apology... but it was an eye-opener for me.  My sister is not a mil-spouse, I am.  And what is "no big deal" for me is a big deal for her.  Lesson learned.

So, can any of you resonate with "too much togetherness?"  Remember, I never said I LIKED my husband being gone and I always miss him.  BUT, we do need some time apart every now and then because our marriage has always been that way.  We don't know any different.  Retirement will be interesting...

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