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Fireworks and Other Faux Pas

During Pamela's radio show on Army Wives Episode 11, she talked about her husband "bringing the fireworks" when he returns from a deployment.  Later Chase came to her and said her comments were embarrassing.  She said something in a very public forum that seemed OK for her comfort level, but that apparently wasn't OK for her husband's.

I bet several of us bloggers can relate to that...

Andi mentioned in an email a while back that her husband cringed when she said her advice for homecoming was "fancy underpants."  I'm sure Andi considered it a mild and cutesy way of saying there are more important things than clean floors, but her husband seemed to focus on the fact that his wife was talking about lingerie online!  What was good for the goose was embarrassing for the gander...

My husband never said anything about my blogging until the day I posted about trying to have a baby.  At the urging of ArmyWifeToddlerMom -- yeah, let's blame her -- I wrote about our frustration of trying (and failing) to get pregnant with a deployment looming over our heads.  My husband was a little shocked that I'd talk about something so personal on my blog, the cyber equivalent of shouting it to the nearest 100 people.  But many bloggers such as myself feel that we've developed a rapport with readers and feel comfortable sharing personal feelings and experiences.  And I figured that, out of those 100 people, at least a few of them had probably gone through the same thing and could offer me advice or a virtual pat on the arm.  Plus, it's not like I mentioned s-e-x in the post; I thought I was discreet about the details and focused on the emotions.  But all my gander saw was that I was talking about our bedroom online.

My husband and I probably fall pretty squarely into the typical gender categories for methods of social interaction.  But two people of the same gender can also have vastly differing levels of social comfort: what's normal for AirForceWife may be mortifying for you!  Thank heavens she lays it all out there for our entertainment; it would be a sad day if her husband thought her stories were too embarrassing to tell.

Blogging is a great way to make connections, meet a new friend, or find a community that understands you.  I don't mind telling personal stories so that people online are seeing the Real Me, but I do have to remain mindful that my husband is not a social creature and prefers his privacy.  I try to run my blog posts by him first if I think they might be controversial.

I don't think what Pamela said on her radio show was all that shocking, but I'm sure someone out there did.  And if two people with different comfort levels are married, this could be an issue.  I'm glad Pamela and Chase didn't just fight about it but actually sat down and (sort of) talked about what's OK and what's off limits.  I would recommend that all bloggers have that chat with their spouses.  Preferably before you bring up underpants.

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