"Where have you been?" I asked myself today as I was getting caught up on SpouseBUZZ posts. My answer to myself: "I have no idea! What day is it anyway?"
Now, I don't normally have these types of conversations with myself on a daily basis. But when hubby is gone and I am functioning on "auto-pilot" I do tend to find I am "lost" somewhere among my daily life. My kids can always seem to find me - which is good (right? The never-ending "Mooooooommmmmmyyyyyyy!") Okay, so that gets old after day one, but what are ya gonna do?!
Hubby has been TDY for almost a month (he'll be home in mid-August). No biggie in the grand scheme of things - he's not deployed and in harm's way on a daily basis and he can call every now and then (very rarely, I might add). So why is this TDY trip different than all the others? Well, I am not sure, exactly, but I have a list of possibilities:
1. It's the first trip he's taken for more than a week since he was wounded 2 years ago. (i.e. we're out of "practice").
2. The kids are older (7 and 4) and have a harder time when Daddy is away (i.e. Mommy seems to be more emotionally drained than usual due to helping the kids deal with Daddy's absence).
3. Mommy misses Daddy.
4. Crisis always seems to strike when Daddy's away!!!
5. Mommy's trying to play "Superwoman" again and her cape just doesn't work any more (and the spandex outfit is a bit too snug!).
My list could go on and on, but I fear it may become too whiny, and I do NOT like to whine! Well, maybe sometimes.
I think we all make some sort of list from time to time, just trying to find some way to pinpoint WHY we are feeling a certain way. Or why this deployment/TDY/etc. is better/worse than previous ones. Or, maybe it's just me?
Do you ever have a mental list similar to this running through your head? Or do you ever find yourself saying (to yourself) "Where the heck have you been?!?!" If so, you are not alone because I am right there with ya!