Was it a Hostile Takeover?


My beloved husband has some very military quirks in his dress habits.  For instance, the man will not leave the house without a t-shirt under his shirt.  I am not kidding when I reveal that he has been known to wear under-shirts under t-shirts.  And belts - unless he is clad in workout shorts, the man will twitch and itch until he finds a belt to wear with his pants or shorts. 

I tried to tell him last night that it wouldn't kill him to leave the house without a belt, and the look he gave me would have melted Arctic ice caps.

In any case, since I was used to his under-shirt peccadillo's after many years and countless drawers filled with white, tan, and black t-shirts, I didn't notice that hubby's t-shirts were being infiltrated by something new and stealthy.

Under Armour.

As I was doing laundry this weekend, I noticed that I didn't have enough chairs and door knobs to hang up all the Under Armour hubby was going through.  I looked up to mention this fact to him, and noticed he was walking around the house in an Under Armour shirt and fake Under Armour shorts. I realized that hubby was wearing this gear when he was NOT ON DUTY.

Just when did this vast sea of moisture wicking material infiltrate my house?  And how did I not notice?  Have other households succumbed to the siren lure of moisture wicking shirts, leaving the once indispensable knit t-shirts to wilt sadly away into the graveyard of out-of-date clothing along with bell bottoms and red leather jackets covered in zippers?

Armed with the knowledge of the fate of our house, I visited the BX with newly opened eyes.  Sure enough, nearly one quarter of the clothing area for men was stuffed with moisture wicking products.  And women aren't immune!  There were pink Under Armour shirts, baby blue Under Armour, and - my personal favorite - the "Power Thong".   

Apparently, moisture wicking fabric has been quietly and stealthily infiltrating and replacing t-shirts in key positions.  I would have to say that their coup d'etat is probably nearly complete.

My husband is absolutely fascinated by all things moisture wicking.  If Under Armour or one of it's competitors sold moisture wicking sheets, I'm sure he'd buy them.  It might be for the best, too - that man has some of the sweatiest feet I've ever encountered.

I'm going to have to search out some knit undershirts and put them aside, though.  I realized today that the moisture wicking phenomenon had gone too far when hubby tried to wear a combat tan colored Under Armour under his Hawaiian shirt and buckled his shorts with a tactical belt.

And he wonders how people immediately know he's in the military! 

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