SpouseBuzz

Family Heartaches Unnoticed

Many of our military families often endure such painful experiences.  They do so with very little money and sometimes no support system.  I don't know what's to be done for many, but I wanted to give a voice to one person who contacted me and see what y'all came up with for advice, commiseration and 'been-there-did-this" words of wisdom!

The following is an email I received, I didn't change anything except to remove her name and contact information.  I'm sure you'll find many things to agree with, many things to disagree with, many things to applaud, many to infuriate.....we all deal with what we are faced with in the best way we know how.  It's the words of a mil spouse reaching out from her own experience.  Your wealth of experience would be appreciated!

Next time someone talks about supporting the military members, think oftheir families as well. You may not know this, but a lot of military familiesare broken just because of military errors. For example, I am a military wife,my husband is active duty. I move back to Illinois a few monthsback because my husband was scheduled for deployment. We were advised bycommander and first sergeant to clear housing and move to where ever we wereplanning on staying through out deployment. They said they were FOR SUREleaving by that date. So a few months ago we packed everything up and movedme and my kids to Illinois. We had got all of our belongs packed and a leasesigned with tenants and the next day was informed that my husband was notdeploying till a later date, due to the extension of deployment months changefrom 12 to 15. Now we are forced to live apart. On top of that my husband cannot stay in the barracks because he is married and is receiving housingallowance which we have to have to survive. So my husband has to pay to livesomewhere and I have to pay for me and my kids to live somewhere. That isexpensive. Plus, because he does not have his own place, he has to eat out everyday and even at the chow hall it costs 300 dollars a month. We have gotextremely into debt, not to mention I am pregnant and trying to raise two smallchildren with limited money. My two year old is going through emotional problemsand does not understand why she talks to her daddy on the phone, but can notkiss or hug him. Just writing about this is breaking my heart. It would bedifferent if he was deployed, I would know we were apart for a good reason, butknowing we are apart now for a long time plus another 15 months after hedeploys, breaks my heart. We were advised to come back, but where could we go?NOWHERE..... We would have no place to live. They said how about a hotel, Wellhotels cost money, and we already maxed out our credit card because of all this.I hope that someone will hear this and help me and women like me. Even though myhusband serves this country, we still can't afford to live. Do you know that onaverage military families make 20,000 A YEAR. That is not right that the localtrash men make as much as a soldier defending our country.  We would love to be able to stay with my husbanduntil he deploys. Even if it is a one bed room hotel room. All of us could sleeptogether. My little ones don't understand why we can't go back to Texas and itbreaks my heart when I try to tell them. My girl say I want to go home mommy,and I say we can't baby and she says I want to go to work with daddy.


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