"I'll make it up to you..."


The other night DH and I were watching the TV show Criminal Minds, which is about an FBI Behavioral Analysis unit that goes all over the place solving crimes.  You've probably seen it...  One of the characters (can't remember his screen name, but it's the guy who played Greg on the show Dharma and Greg a few years back) was on the phone with his wife while he was away solving a crime.  He said, "I'll make it up to you... No, I don't know when I'll be home, but I swear I'll make it up to you."

At first I didn't think much about what he said.  I was kinda in my own world watching the show and vegging out before going to bed.  Then DH said something that got me thinking...

DH:  I'm glad you've never been like that about my job.

Me:  What are you talking about?

DH:  You've never made me feel guilty for not being home.  I have a job to do that takes me away from you and the kids and you understand that I will miss things... and you don't expect me to "make it up to you."

Me:  Uh, I guess I never really thought of it that way.  I know your job takes you away from us and I don't like it, but I know that's part of our life right now. 

And I have to admit that I have never, EVER thought of telling my husband that he had to "make anything up" to me or the kids.  Maybe it's a mindset for most milspouses?

Have any of you ever thought about this, but just never said anything to your spouse?  Or have you ever met another milspouse that carried this thought that our spouses had to "make things up" to us when they have been gone?  Or is this something that never even crossed your mind (until you read this post, of course)?  I'm curious about how other people view this concept...

Story Continues

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