The Toilet in the Kitchen


I'm late getting this post up. A while back, I mentioned that I had a toilet in my kitchen and promised to tell you why. Okay, here's the story.....

One Saturday, out of the blue, my husband looks at me and says, "let's go."

Let's go where?

To Lowe's.

To Lowe's? Why?

You're going to pick out new tile for the small bathroom and we're going to install it.

Big smile. I am? We are?

We are.

I have to say, I love the months of February and March. Football has ended, baseball hasn't started and my husband is looking for ways to fill the void. This is the two month window when things around the house get done.

I thought we were finished with the flooring in our house, though I never liked the tile in the bathroom on our main floor, so I was happy to change it.

Off to Lowe's we went. Tile was selected, tools were purchased, the truck was full and we were ready to roll. It's only a half bath, so our project was going to be short, sweet and finished by the end of the weekend.

Yeah, right!

Of course, we had to drain the toilet and remove it from the bathroom in order to lay the tile. So, where to put it? In the kitchen, of course.

Expect the unexpected.

I tend to think everything is going to be fine, though history has always proved otherwise. There were the usual bumps in the road, like when my husband mixed a gallon of water for the mortar instead of a quart (or vice versa - can't remember), which required an additional trip to Lowe's, and when I broke a tile my husband had spent two hours crimping so it would fit around the base of our pedestal sink, which required another trip to Lowe's (and made for an unhappy husband), and when I realized I didn't like the color of mortar that I had originally selected, which required another trip to Lowe's, and when we decided on a different size of spacers. Yes, you guessed it - another trip to Lowe's.

On the fifth trip to Lowe's I was greeted with, "Andi, it's so nice to see you. We haven't seen you in, what? Three hours?"

While we were waiting for the floor to be completed, the toilet sat in my kitchen, plopped right in front of the sliding glass door that leads to the deck. One night, I was milling around in the kitchen and saw my neighbor looking out her window. And looking... And looking... Well, I guess it's not everyday that you see a toilet perched in someone's kitchen. I had to laugh.

As luck would have it, or not, while the toilet was sitting in the kitchen, a water stain appeared on my kitchen ceiling. So, I called a plumber. When he arrived and saw the toilet, he informed me that installing a toilet wasn't on his work order.

I shooed my hands and said, "oh that, no - nevermind," and continued talking about why he was called.

The plumber glanced from me to the toilet, me to the toilet. You should have seen his face. Guess it's not everyday that a plumber sees a toilet in the kitchen either. I never did tell him why it was there. In hindsight, I should have pulled the toilet up to the dining room table and acted as if it was just additional seating.

All in all, our weekend project took two weeks or so to complete. During that time, we managed to freak our neighbors out, confuse a plumber, scare guests and barely get our act together in time for an unexpected home visit by the pet adoption folks. Whew, that one was close.

You can do it. With the exception of installing carpet and hardwood floors, my husband and I have done everything to this house ourselves; paint, molding, installing new lighting, building a new patio and now, we can add tiling to the list. It's very rewarding to enjoy the fruits of your own labor. Not to mention the ton of money you save from doing it yourself. 

Now that I know tiling can be done fairly easily, I'm eyeballing my bathroom floor. The more I look at that tile, the more I dislike it..... I'm probably out of luck though. Baseball season started yesterday.

That, and the fact that we received orders just after completing the bathroom. Just when we love, love, love our house, it's time to leave it. Cruel, just cruel...

Show Full Article

Related Topics


Military Spouse Videos

View more