"I feel bloated," he said to me.
"Bloated?" I asked.
"Yes, bloated. I'm busting at the seams."
I looked him up and down. "You don't look bloated to me," I insisted. "You're just perfect for your frame."
I am not. I am fat.
You are NOT fat.
I am and it's not good to carry around this extra weight, especially now. Be honest, you know it's true.
I thought about it for a bit and agreed. Indeed he was bloated, and in about three months, the extra weight would make a big difference - in a bad way. There would be problems. It would become a hassle. Summer is coming and changes lie ahead.
I scratched my head and asked myself how I allowed this to happen.
You are to blame.
It was true. I was to blame. I began feeling guilty and a slight panic set in.
And on top of it all, you just bought a new wardrobe and you know I can't possibly fit in it. How do you think that's going to make me feel when I try to squeeze into the new wardrobe? I will be humiliated.
I scratched my head again and thought for a long while. Maybe I should have bought a larger wardrobe for this summer. He could fit comfortably and feel better about himself. Or, maybe I shouldn't have allowed him to become so fat in the first place, but then that too would have presented problems, he would have been too thin for his current situation.
So, I began working to help him slim down. We've made some visible progress in a very short time. I could tell he was feeling better about himself, and in the process he made some other people very happy.
A few weeks later, I said to him, "you feel better now?"
Ahhhhhhhh, yes. Carrying all that weight around was tough, but now I can breathe easier and I do feel better about myself. Not quite ready for a speedo, but I think I would look respectable in some bermuda shorts.
Unfortunately, you're going to have to fit in a speedo, so you'll have to do some squeezing. But don't worry, I have a plan.
He looked at me warily and sighed, as if to say, "I've seen your plans before, and sometimes they are not executed very well."
Me = Me
He = House/Household Goods
Extra weight = Our household goods
Current situation = Our decent-sized house
Speedo = The small two-bedroom apartment we'll be moving to this summer, for only eleven months...
Happy Persons = The charity that received the purged items
Plan = Most of our household goods will go in storage, and the rest will squeeze into the speedo.
Person left out of this story = My husband who says, "don't buy another thing for the next five years."
Isn't PCSing a hoot? Especially when you move from large to tiny, or vice-versa. I've done both and neither is really fun. Whoa boy, here we go!