Confessions of a Lonely Spouse


I have a confession to make: I didn't like being stationed in Germany.

Most people consider travel to be one of the perks of military life, especially when they get to get stationed overseas for a while.  Most consider it a great opportunity and the highlight of their domestic life.  I just really didn't like it.  I found being in Germany inconvenient and burdensome.  I'll note here that I had already lived in France and Sweden and speak both of those languages, so it wasn't that I was some sort of xenophobic bumpkin.  I simply felt that our military presence in Germany was wasteful, and all the gas subsidies, bread factories, and astronomical recycling costs that our country had to foot the bill for were not worth our tax payers' dollars.  Being there was a burden on my heart, and I would've felt more comfortable at the dreaded Polk or Bliss.

But I'm so alone in that feeling.

I went to a dinner recently with several of the wives who lived near me in Germany.  And I grew weary of hearing over and over how much they missed and loved everything about Germany.  I hardly ever say anything because it's uncomfortable to rain on people's Germany parade, but I always feel so lonely when I feel like the only one in the crowd who thinks this way.

We spouses have a lot in common.  We all have PCS stories and Tricare woes, and many of them are so similar.  In fact, I had almost the same PCS story as Linda, where our fax didn't go through and our HHG never got sent.  We all can relate to so many of the same feelings and hardships, so it seems strange for me to feel so different in this one aspect of military life.  I often feel like the only wife who didn't like living in Germany, which is isolating and lonely.  In a sea of similarities, this one glaring difference is hard to swallow.

Sometimes we who feel differently from the spouses around us just need a safe place to say we disagree with the norm.  I don't like the uncomfortable moment that follows when I tell people that I didn't like living in Germany, but I feel like I can talk about it here where I have the power of the internet to shield me a little from feeling like an outsider.  Maybe you need this space too to talk about something in the military you feel differently about that you don't like talking about in person.

Whose parade do you need to rain on in private?

Show Full Article

Related Topics


Contact SpouseBuzz:

Military Spouse Videos

View more