It's very odd to be married to a service member who hasn't deployed and most likely won't be deployed in the future. Especially nowadays when it seems everyone is deployed. It's just not something they do with development engineers. He's much more useful to the rest of the military if he stays here and designs the war fighting capability!
So, I've been feeling very much like I'm not a 'real' military spouse because my significant other had never deployed. He was gone for seven months straight last year, but it was an in-country TDY - so that just doesn't count, does it?
But I feel like I'm finally joining the club....sort of.
Next week I am having surgery (not major, but not minor) and I'm nervous about it. Even more so because my husband is TDY and won't be back in time for my surgery. It's not the same as having your husband deployed and going through surgery....I realize this. But I have to manage the kids (Goober is being shipped off to friends and the other cubs are being shamelessly pressed into nursing duty!), deal with recovery rooms solo, bother friends (family is, of course, states away) to drive me there and back and do all this without the spouse as a fall back. Thank God for military friends - the civilian friends can't get on base.
I've been feeling proud of myself that I could deal with a traumatic event sans spouse. I feel as though I can finally relate (on a very small scale - don't want to know how to relate on a big scale) to those of you who have dealt with traumatic events during your spouses deployments.
I have to say, it's a very empowering experience. I can do this! Catch me next Tuesday afternoon when I'm trying to manage recovery on my own and it might be a different story. But for now, that's my story and I'm sticking to it! I think y'all are amazing, absolutely inspirational. Whether you get through it "well" or barely hang on to your sanity - you survived and you dealt with whatever came your way. Kudos to you!
Meanwhile, I sit back and smile that I can do this and, in some small way, join the fraternity of spouses who endure when their spouses are gone.
God bless you all!
