Don't Touch My Hair!!


In the seven times our family has moved since 1998, we have had to leave friends, family members, road routes we were familiar with, Wal Marts and Targets whose layout had been conveniently memorized, home churches and pastors, and favorite restaurants.

And, for me, the hardest part of moving... I have to leave behind my hair stylist and my manicurist.  And then, horror of horrors, I have to find new ones.  God only knows how many bad "just PCS'd" haircuts I've had to suffer through until I could find my stylist soulmate.  The person who understands my personality and the irritating head of hair I have been "blessed" with.  The person who can instinctively cut my layers to the correct length for the humidity of the environment we are living in so I can avoid the dreaded Frizz Queen look.

And I haven't even gotten started on the state of my hands.

I'm not trying to be spoiled.  I have made every attempt to be a "drop in" client at any old hair salon.  It works for my eldest daughter - but when my husband began to ask me which hat I wanted to wear when we went out, I realized that the hair cuts I was getting were just not going to work.  Inevitably, there are tears. 

"Oh my GOD!  You want me to be seen in public like THIS?"  My poor husband spends the first few months of a new duty station hovering by the bathroom door as I lament the fact that my hair "won't work" and that Caroline always cut my hair so that it behaved!  Even in summer!

I have learned to approach new salons with trepidation, and I have become a near expert at sizing up the stylists pre-cut in order to try and pre-mitigate damage.  Does s/he refer to it as "frosting" or "highlighting"?  I use highlighting.  Frosting goes on cake.

Is it called "layers" or "feathering"?  I use layers.  Feathering went out with Farah Fawcett.  The style may be making a come-back, but it is under a new name.

Recently I encountered a problem I didn't even know existed.  My hairstylist moved.  My hairstylist.  I felt betrayed; I'M the one that's supposed to move!  Not her!  She's supposed to live here forever in case we ever get stationed here again!

It totally threw me off my game, because this is just not the order of life for me.  I had to actually go searching for a new hairstylist in a place we've already been stationed for two years.  I wasn't sure where to start, it still felt like I was cheating on Shane, even though Shane has since moved to South Carolina (note to self:  remember this in case Pope AFB comes up on hubby's orders).   I felt like I should be sneaking around and using a false name.  Like I should be shredding my credit card receipt to avoid detection.

Two bad hair cuts later, lots of ponytail and hat time (SpouseBuzz hat, of course), and I think I've found her.  And joy of joys, she even works at one of the lower priced family salons in the area!  It was like meeting my other hair-half when she sat me in her booth and fluffed my hair a bit before saying, "Have you tried Sebastian's Potion Number 9 on your hair?  It does wonders for dry frizzies."  Then while she righted the wrongs previously done on my hair we talked about our shared fear of high heels and stairs.

Now I can relax, because all is right with the world again.  That is, until we PCS.  Then the search will start all over.

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