I became a military spouse in a relatively calm period. It was after Desert Storm and years before September 11. Of course, deployments did happen. They always do, even in peacetime, but they were certainly not on the scale, and generally not as dangerous as today's revolving deployments. I often wonder how I would cope with becoming a new milspouse during wartime. Acclimating to military life is challenging enough for many of us, add to that the near certainty that your spouse will soon end up in a land far away on a dangerous mission.
This afternoon, I read a comment left by Carrie, a brand-new milspouse, and my heart fluttered for her.
I am brand new to the military lifestyle and have no clue what i am doing. My husband Brent just left for boot camp in Great Lakes IL. This is the first time that we have ever been apart from each other and i am scared. Though he is not deployed as of yet i have found it useful for me to get through this by doing self improvement. I have been going through the house and spring cleaning. Getting on to the internet and researching everything about the Navy and military life. I am trying to prepare myself for this new change. i am so glad i found this site. i hope to make some new friends and have some knowledgeable spouses to help me prepare for this new life. if any one would be willing to help me prepare i would truly appreciate all that you could offer. i feel real lost and alone. i have my family right know but none of them have gone through this and offer no insight on this subject. so i have been winging it. I try to keep myself busy with crafts and writing letters to my husband. i am real excited to see what the Navy will offer our small family. I have really admired any who serve in the military and respect all of them a great deal. I look forward to meeting and talking with other spouses. I respect them for sending off their loved ones to fight for or freedom. You are all on a different level then the average spouse. We love all of are troops and their families for doing what they do. I only hope i can do what you are and do it as good. feel free to send me email and correspond.
First of all, "Welcome to the Sisterhood." I borrowed that phrase from a source you'll soon meet at SpouseBUZZ.
Knowledge is power, and Carrie is taking an important step by conducting research on military life.
Kudos, Carrie. Empowering yourself with knowledge will go a long way towards a smooth integration into military life.
As for the separation, it doesn't matter that your husband isn't deployed, what matters is that he's away from home, and I think we all feel lost and alone when our spouses leave. It takes a while for the new reality to develop into a manageable routine.
As for winging it, that's fine too. You'll quickly learn that there are no hard and fast rules for being a milspouse. Each milspouse is unique, and each of us deal with the challenges of being a milspouse in a way that suits our lifestyle. Whatever makes you comfortable, and whatever allows you to function in a healthy way - go with it. Personally, I can identify with your need to stay busy. For me, staying busy is the key to preventing my mind from wandering into places that will drag me down.
I think Carrie is off to a good start - much better than mine.
What we do here at SpouseBUZZ is to share our experiences and offer support, in the virtual sense, to other milspouses. Let's welcome Carrie to the ranks, and offer her some words of support.