On Being a Midget


Yep, that's right.  I'm now officially a single-digit-midget.    And you know what?

It's not all it's made out to be.

Not that it's not a wonderful thing to be expecting your husband home.  It's the part of the deployment we look forward to for months, right?  We wait for it, we long for the final 10-9-8... countdown.  It's what makes the whole deployment possible.

But I'm not generally a nervous person, and here I am unable to eat anything spicier than cheesy toast.

And do you know what the silliest worry I have is?  I'm worried that I smell weird.  Not necessarily bad, but weird.  Like old people, possibly, if the Aveeno lotion I've been using is any indication.

Obviously I have issues, right?  I'm pretty sure that is one of the most ridiculous things a person can come up with to worry about.  But that's it for me.  If I perform some amateur psychology on myself (barring an appointment with Dr. Phil) I think it's pretty obvious that I worry about what I smell like because it's easier for me to address than worries about how I have changed, and how hubby might have changed, while he was gone.

Denial and transference have always worked well for me.

And why worry about smells at all?  Well, because it's always been a big deal to us.  I'm the silly goose who sniffs her husband's t-shirts, especially if he is gone for a while.  When hubby and I started dating I always used peach lotion.  At the time I would buy it at The Body Shop (I no longer shop there, but that's a completely different subject).  Quality peach lotion has been harder and harder to find of late, and so I've slacked off and started using any old thing from Target.

Until about four days ago, I didn't even "get" that hubby was coming home soon.  It seemed almost unfathomable that this deployment - a shorter one than many have had to deal with - was actually almost over.  And when it finally hit me, the mad dash to find peach lotion began.

I actually had to order it online from Bath and Body Works, because they didn't carry it in the store in our area.  It still hasn't gotten here, and I'm not sure it will get here in time.

And so I smell weird.  And I kind of worry about that.

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