Dear Ms. Vicki,
I know a Marine who dated a girl who had a son from a previous boyfriend.
The Marine fell in love with her and her son. They got married quickly, and the Marine hoped feelings would progress between him and the girl. Well, after about a year, it did not work out that way. The Marine still loved her and cared for her, but they started the divorce process.
In the middle of the process, the Marine found a new love. They got serious and made plans to be with each other once the divorce was final. He married the new girl, and they had a son together, born four months after they were married.
Since that marriage happened in 2012, the Marine and his wife have moved a few times and currently have three children ages 3 and under. They are always fighting, and now the Marine wants to get a divorce because it is what is best for everyone.
His wife keeps saying that she wasted years of her life and deserves more than child support. She claims to have letters from his first wife saying that the first wife and the Marine were in a contract marriage.
In previous fights when his first marriage was brought up, the Marine said numerous times that it was a contract marriage just to end the fight. He admitted to a lot of wrongdoing that he wasn't part of just to end the fighting.
His wife says that she will use those letters against him and have him thrown in federal prison for committing the felony of stealing money from the government with a contract marriage. But it wasn't a contract marriage. The Marine really did love his first wife and her son; that is why he married her and hoped that she would develop stronger feelings for him.
Can his wife do that? Also, while the first divorce was going on, the Marine and his first wife fought a lot. She hates him and has said she would do anything to make him suffer. Any advice for this Marine would be helpful.
-- Asking for a Friend
Oh my Lord! My first bit of advice is to you: Please stay away from this Marine! Somehow you're all connected and intertwined in this mess. Moreover, my gut tells me that you are probably already involved with him. You probably think you are next in line to try and steal his heart.
Listen, this Marine doesn't know where he is going. He's spinning around from one relationship to the next. He sounds like he needs to grow up and slow down a bit. Your involvement will only make matters worse. Plus, you will end up with a broken heart.
If the Marine had a contract marriage with the first wife, the contract was surely over when he married the second wife, right? How can the second wife prove it was a contract marriage? Whatever he and the first wife had is over, and there should be a divorce order or decree to prove it.
I guess the second wife could stir the pot and get more mess going by making allegations to the Marine's command, but I doubt they will listen to her.
But back to you: Guard your heart and steer clear of this drama, if you know what's good for you. Let me know what you decide.
-- Ms. Vicki