Under the Radar

Hey Space Force, We Found Your Uniform!

The United States Space Force needs to look GOOD.

President Trump's Space Force went from tossed-off idea to hard and fast United States policy this morning and everyone at the Pentagon is scrambling to figure out how to crank up the sixth branch of the United States Armed Forces.

Everyone knows that uniforms are a key tool for each branch's recruiting strategy. You never get a second chance to make a first impression, and rocket ships aside, the United States Space Force is going to need a badass uniform to convince the kids to sign up.

That's why we created a handy cheat sheet for the Pentagon officials tasked with coming up with these basic branding tools. Fortunately, Hollywood has been predicting this day for over 100 years and they've designed thousands of outer space uniforms for sci-fi movies and TV shows. 

Here are some critical reference points for outfitting America's next generation of heroes.

1. Star Trek

Original Star Wars 1050

Forget all those taxpayer-funded recruiting posters and TV commercials. The original "Star Trek" television series has taught generations of American youth the importance of military values and inspired more than a few to pursue a career in uniform. 

"Star Trek" gear is sleek, comfortable and uses color for quick job identification. It's the platinum standard of spacewear.

2. HALO

Master Chief from the Xbox game HALO is the most iconic character in modern video games and he's got the space armor and future weapons to handle any alien threats. Most of all, he's got that incredible visor. It's heroic and terrifying at the same time.

3. Star Wars

More than a few "Star Wars" fans secretly prefer the Empire to the Federation and the main reason for that is the Stormtroopers. The segmented armor, the black-gun-on-white-chestplate effect, those terrifying helmets and the exaggerated crotch protection all contribute to a look that's both sleek and functional.

4. Galaxy Quest

A movie that mocked Trekkie conventions has become a well-loved comedy classic. The crew of the NSEA Protector may be actors who roll their eyes at the fans who both worship and annoy them, but their uniforms look sharp. Tim Allen and crew rise to the occasion when real aliens who've mistaken their show for a documentary kidnap the cast to help win a real space war.

5. Starship Troopers

"Starship Troopers" may feature some of the most disgusting aliens in movie history, but those stylish helmets and flak vests would look fantastic at any interplanetary showdown. The only good bug is a dead bug!

6. Battlestar Galactica

The original "Battlestar Galactica" may not be as ambitious as the show's 21st-century reboot but those space capes are incredibly dashing.

7. Aliens

The Colonial Marines from the second "Alien" movie are incredibly beloved by sci-fi fans. There's nothing fancy here, just a traditional look updated for battle against outer-space vermin.

8. Plan Nine From Outer Space

Space warfare is going to be incredibly expensive. To save a few bucks for the American taxpayer, the Space Force might look to Ed Wood Jr.'s notorious "Plan Nine From Outer Space." Often labeled the "worst movie of all time," the movie's shoestring budget led to some terrible special effects that include UFOS that are obviously metal pie plates dangling on wires. The uniforms may be thrown together but those tights will let the enemy see just how fit our fighters really are.

We can't guarantee that this guide will be employed by the Pentagon but, just in case they do use it for inspiration, please add your own suggestions below. 

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