Under the Radar

Total Recall Redux: If I'm Not me, Then Who the Hell am I?

Under the Radar: women in Total Recall future have evolved, and we're all for it.

Seriously now.. What's not to like about that? Women with three boobs? That would be enough to get us to the theater on its own. Add in Jessica Biel, Kate Beckinsdale, guns, a Bladerunner-esque dystopian future and women with three boobs? What could possibly be bad about it? Other than the fact that they don't go to Mars at all, which was pretty central point of the first one (and, more importantly, the sci-fi novel by Phillip K. Dick that inspired it).

Maybe it's because the last Mars movie (remember the green guys and the really fast bullfrogdog?) sucked so very badly.

Here is a trailer from the upcoming movie:

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Great special effects, good gunfighting scenes, pretty cool armor on the SWAT guys, excellent use of sound...hopefully the movie is as good as its own movie, if not as a remake of the original. Here's a trailer from that one:

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"If I'm not me, then who the hell am I?"  More importantly, where are the prostitutes with three boobs?

It will be hard to beat a movie featuring fat women with exploding heads and booger-like tracking devices pulled from the hero's skull, but we're going to be open minded about it and will review it for you once its released. If you're interested in watching the original, which came out in 1990 (before many of you were born, much less enlisted), you can pick it up pretty cheaply on DVD anywhere, or just watch for it on TV. They're already starting to show it again on basic cable in preparation for the release.

"Well, Cohaagen. I've got to hand it to you. It's the best mind-f*ck yet."

The Total Recall 2012 YouTube page has more videos, and the official REKALL web page (in character, as the company/experience) is pretty well done.

We already wish we had three hands.

Mad Duo Clear

The tactical wit and trigger-pulling wisdom of Mad Duo is the amalgamation of a several current and former military types, some still engaged in doorkickery, others just FAGs (Former Action Guys). They can be contacted here on UTR, over on Kit Up! or at Breach-Bang-Clear. Swingin' Dick Kilgore and Slim Call are without a doubt the highest speed, lowest drag celebrities of the action figure and steely-eyed snaker-eater world.  Their commentary has been likened to a .308 op-ed to the head. They don’t like the Taliban, marplots, hippies, sissies, Keith Olbermann, Louis Farrakhan, traitors or SNCOs and officers who don’t grasp the concept of Noblesse Oblige. Loyalty starts from the top down, assclowns. Join 'em on Facebook if you're not skeert: www.Facebook.com/breachbangclear.

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