Yes, ZOMREP. As in Zombie Report. You know, like SITREP, STATREP, and INTREP; Situation Report, Status Report and Intelligence Report. Of course you do, we're not telling you something you don't already know. We're only articulating that for the hippies who're undoubtedly reading this in an effort to understand their enemy.
Anyway, you may be getting tired of the zombie meme. We are very slowly beginning to do the same…that doesn’t meant you don’t still need to be prepared for the end of all things. Nobody wants to see the walking dead overrun the earth (except perhaps for the occasional necrophage…grunts, necrophagy.) So, we’ve prepped a ZOMREP zombiepocalypse update for you.
First, you might check out Brains Magazine, from ZombiesEatPeople. They describe Brains magazine as the “absolute in all things zombie, from primitive survival to modern comedy…” Apparently it’s going to have zombie centerfolds (good for you necrophiliacs, unless you prefer your nookie completely unmoving) to some clinical psychology. The Brains magazine website is here.
If you want to check it out, there is a Brains magazine facebook page, and a free download of the first issue (though it’s a bit of a pain in the ass to get to it). Among the stories inside are Complete Home Makeover, Zombie Edition, Eight Most Underrated Zombie Movies and Fun shit to do until zombies walk.
Second, keep an eye out for A Little Bit Zombie, an indie zombie comedy which apparently begins when in infected mosquito bites some poor bastard. That’s a hell of a lot more awesome than any old West Nile Virus eh? We’re not sure what’s worse. The bitchy bridezilla or the brain-eatin’, though we sincerely hope the cat fight winds up with the girls nekkid. It’s pretty damn funny, check out the trailer.
Or third, if you want something a little more serious, you might watch for the independent cop movie Zombie Valley.
%embed2%Fourth and next you should check out this article at The Oatmeal, just to be safe. It’ll tell you how long it’ll take you to turn once you’re bit. At a minimum, have your spouse and your in-laws take it, so you have an excuse to put them down once everything goes zombiepocalyptic.
Lastly (fifth, in case you weren't paying attention), a movie update for you. According to the Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide, you can look forward to these movies in the months to come:
2012A Little Bit Zombie (2012, Canada) Updated: Oct 15, 2011 – Release Info: Post Production
Another World (2012, Israel) Updated: Jun 26, 2011 – Release Info: Release: early 2012
Archaic Redemption (2012, U.S.) Updated: Dec 12, 2010 – Release Info: 2012
Automaton Transfusion 2 (2012, U.S.) Updated: Dec 19, 2010 – Release Info: Script
Boy Scouts vs. Zombies (2012, U.S.) Updated: Oct 15, 2011 – Release Info: In Development
Condition Dead 3D (2012, U.S.) Updated: Dec 19, 2010 – Release Info: Pre-Production
Deadlands III: The New World (2012) Updated: Dec 12, 2010 – Release Info: Spring 2012
R.I.P.D. (2012, U.S.) Updated: Dec 12, 2010 – Release Info: Pre-Production/2012
REC Apocalypse (2012, Spain) Updated: Dec 19, 2010 – Release Info: Optioned Property
Resident Evil 5 (2012) Updated: Mar 5, 2011 – Release Info: Target Release Date: 9/14/2012
Warm Bodies (2012) Updated: Dec 19, 2010 – Release Info: Optioned Property
World War Z (2012, U.S.) Updated: Jan 10, 2012 – Release Info: Post-production; release December 21, 2012
28 Months Later (2013, U.K.) Updated: Oct 15, 2011 – Release Info: Pitch
Army of the Dead (2013, U.S.) Updated: Dec 12, 2010 – Release Info: 2013?
Dead Island: The Movie (2013, U.S.) Updated: Mar 9, 2011 – Release Info: Optioned Property
El Brazo Grande vs. the Living Dead (2013, U.S.) Updated: Dec 19, 2010 – Release Info: Script
Escape of the Living Dead (2013, U.S.) Updated: Jan 1, 2012 – Release Info: Pre Production
Evil Dead 4, The (2013, U.S.) Updated: Oct 15, 2011 – Release Info: Pre-Production
I Love Sarah Jane (2013, Australia) Updated: Mar 9, 2011 – Release Info: Treatment/Plot Outline
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2013, U.S.) Updated: Mar 25, 2011 – Release Info: Script
Zombieland 2 (2013, U.S.) Updated: Jun 26, 2011 – Release Info: Script
Zombies Vs. Robots (2013, U.S.) Updated: Mar 9, 2011 – Release Info: Optioned Property
That's it for now. If you got to see us at SHOT Show, well, you're welcome.
Mad Duo clear.
The Mad Duo can be contacted here on UTR, over on Kit Up! or at Breach-Bang-Clear. High speed, low drag celebrities of the actionfigure and steely-eyed snaker-eater world, the commentary of Richard “Swingin’ Dick” Kilgore and Jake “Slim” Call has been likened to a .308 op-ed to the head. They don’t like the Taliban, marplots, hippies, sissies or SNCOs and officers who don’t grasp the concept of Noblesse Oblige. Loyalty starts from the top down, assclowns. (Some folks have asked for some background on the intrepid doorkicking twosome: check out Breach Bang Clear for more.) Please go right now and join them on Facebook, unless you’re a hippie, sissy, anti-military, own any expensive show cats or are a Marine Corps trombone player.