Under the Radar

Chuck Norris is a Hunter


Chuck Norris is a Hunter. Yep, a Hunter. Not a Combat Hunter. An MMORPG Hunter. He’s doing a World of Warcraft commercial now. How do we know you’ll care? Well, first…he’s Chuck Norris. Military personnel have always been fascinated by Chuck Norris, as evidenced by the Chuck Norris Was Here spraypainted in big black letters on that ruined T-72 next to the Ziggurat of Ur at Balad and the Chuck Norris face that was painted on the barriers outside FOB Kalsu (until some meddling SNCO decided to have it painted over).

“There are ten million people in the World of Warcraft, because Chuck Norris allows them to live!”

Second…apparently World of Warcraft is a lot like a fat chick (if you follow). Look, we know a bunch of you play it. If you drive past the big School of Infantry sign at Camp Pendleton and roll into Horno, there’s a little MWR type place by the laundry facility (or there was in ‘06).  We wandered in there last time we were at Pendleton to get a coke (it was still early; we never drink before the crack of 1030). Know what we saw? One of the grunts attending our class, hunched over a laptop madly trying to maintain aggro on a horde of somethings in World of Warcraft.

Yep. World of Warcraft. A towering, salty, dark green lance corporal getting his dork on.

Back then we didn’t know a twink from a BoP from a ding, so there’s no way of recalling what he was actually doing in the game. We were just startled on a couple of accounts…a dark green Marine infantryman playing WoW?

We figure if a grunt like him plays it, pretty much anything is possible.

Chuck Norris caused the Cataclysm. His feet are Heroic Tier Eleventy-nine gear.

Now, as we have admitted in the past, even the Mad Duo likes to occasionally get its dork on. We played for a while, before all this Cataclysmic madness started. Didn’t do too bad either, though admittedly we played PvP not PvE. What was interesting was the time we started a guild on the Malygos server restricted only to serving or former members of the military. Now, granted, it’s impossible to truly vet everyone, but still the response we got when we started advertising the fact was startling. There were dozens of military folks that replied that first night. For a while we even played with a buddy (a medic) who was stationed at Abu Ghraib. That’s how we know he wasn’t involved in any tomfoolery with the prisoners. Every spare moment he was awake over there he was playing WoW. How he managed so much of we’ll never know. Maybe got some kind of hookup from one of the host nationals?

Graffiti inside a "portajohn" in Iraq.

If you play World of Warcraft, drop Under the Radar a line. Let ‘em know if you’re interested in reviews or op-ed commentary.

In any case, we thought you might get a kick out of the commercial. We sure as hell did. Not that we play WoW or like fat girls or anything.

Chuck Norris can play WoW on a manual typewriter, and completely wipe a 25-man Heroic in his underwear.

Mad Duo clear.

Swingin' Dick Kilgore on the School of Infantry sign on the way to Horno inside Camp Pendleton.

The Mad Duo fall fourth in the food chain after God, Capt. America and Chuck Norris. They can be contacted here on UTR, over on Kit Up!, at Breach-Bang-Clear and once in a while on Tactical Fanboy. High speed, low drag celebrities of the action figure and steely-eyed snaker-eater world, the commentary of Richard “Swingin’ Dick” Kilgore and Jake “Slim” Call has been likened to a .308 op-ed to the head. They don’t like the Taliban, marplots, hippies, sissies or SNCOs and officers that don’t grasp the concept of Noblesse Oblige. Loyalty starts from the top down, assclowns. (Some folks have asked for some background on the intrepid doorkicking twosome: background is here.)


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