Under the Radar

What’s Next for General McChrystal?



Now that General Stanley McChrystal has been relieved of his command of U.S. forces in Afghanistan, he's sure to be looking for a new job to fill his time.

We've got a few ideas.

1. Review first-person shooter video games for us here at Under the Radar. We've been looking for someone with combat experience to take the gig and review copies of Call of Duty: Black Ops should be available any day now.

2. Replace Simon Cowell as lead judge on next season's American Idol. Auditions begin in about a month and the general has already displayed a knack for stirring up the media with his controversial opinions.

3. Go on cable news and complain about the war strategy. Even if it's actually his war strategy, McChrystal can complain that General Petraeus isn't doing it right.

4. Take over for the late Captain Phil on Deadliest Catch. This week's episode was pretty dramatic, what with the stroke and all. Since we all know Phil's not coming back, McChrystal could take over and pass all the judgment he wanted with no real consequences. The brass at the Discovery Channel are known to have much thicker skins than the folks at the White House.

5. Become head coach of the Oakland Raiders. This one's certain to end badly, but the general would do a much better job of standing up to Al Davis than Lane Kiffin ever could.

6. Open an Afghan restaurant on Washington, DC's Dupont Circle. McChrystal could become a true bon vivant host and restauranteur, serving both the Capitol Hill elite and the cable talking heads while filling their heads with well-placed shots at the Obama administration.

7. Get himself a gig reviewing records at Rolling Stone. He can run his mouth as much as he wants and pissing off Chad Kroeger from Nickelback wouldn't have real implications for his long-term career prospects. Plus that hippie mag kinda owes him now.

You have any more ideas? Let us know in the comments and we'll pass them on.

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