Under the Radar

BPR #1 (Buh-Bye, BK Edition)

Attention on the net:  You got the Barrack Patrol here, bringing you the best of what we hear and what you tell us about.  (And, as always, confidentiality is GUARANTEED -- not too many places around this here U.S. military that you get one of those . . . or at least one of those you want.)

And most of the chatter on our freq the last few days has been about Big General Mac's order to shut down all the fast food joints and other "Hey Joe" establishments around the FOBs in the 'Stan Suck.  The reaction to said order has turned into a battle royale (with cheese) of sorts between two camps:  The Trigger Pullers versus the FOBbits.

Now the Trigger Pullers, who, unlike the FOBbits have actually discharged their weapons in anger, are happy for a warm meal, period, never mind one served up by a good ole' American franchise like KFC.  So when they amble back from a patrol for a little down time and see the "world within a world" that is the FOB they tend to wonder where the priorities are with the guys running the show.  (These are the guys who were pinned down the day before without air support because of too few drones in theater or whatever, so you'll have to forgive them when the sight of a Baskin-Robbins with all 31 flavors gets them a bit steamed under the Kevlar.)  Suffice it to say that the Trigger Pullers are okay with Gen. Mac's order.  Instead of Whoppers, they want more bullets.  As Trigger Puller "Lawman" told us:  "Only at the FOB would you have to worry about Soldiers gaining weight in the middle of a war."

Meanwhile the FOBbits are aggressively defending their right to build little slices of America wherever they go.  "You say 'hearts and minds,' I say 'Taco Bell,'" declares FOBbit "Maximreader."  FOBbits are also quick to point out their worth.  "Without us those guys don't get what they need to fight," said FOBbit "XBOXer 21."  "We're back here in the rear with the gear, so what's wrong if we have some real USA-style food?"

But the two sides agree on one thing:  The chow halls that KBR runs try hard, but the third-party nationals who work in them -- for all of their efforts -- can't make a Whopper.  So let's hope victory doesn't depend on them.

Barracks Patrol OUT . . .

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