'Star Wars' & the Trauma of Lightsaber Evolution

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The first trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens (a/k/a Star Wars Episode VII) highjacked the Internet on Friday and nothing about the new footage freaked out the fanboys more than the new crosspiece on the lightsaber.

Changes to the arsenal can be traumatic in any military setting, but it's hard to figure out what director J.J. Abrams is going for here. If a lightsaber is supposed to effortlessly slice through anything it touches, why add a crossguard made out of the same magic to the hilt? Wouldn't a Jedi be risking life and limb if his crossguard accidentally brushed the warrior during battle?

Film Star Wars The Force Awakens

Of course, Star Wars fans have found plenty of other things to complain about, including the debut of a black stormtrooper played by John Boyega. If stormtroopers are all clones from a white dude, how are we getting multiracial bad guys 30 years after the end of Return of the Jedi? Abrams has a lot to explain.

Check out the full trailer and weigh in on any other military mistakes below.

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And check out the "George Lucas Special Edition" parody trailer, which points out just how much further the old man might've taken the GCI if he'd directed the new movie himself.

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