- If this Obama NBA Jam thing works, game companies are ready to release "Dwight Eisenhower Golf" soon after.
- John Stewart wants his followers to pay to clean up their mess on the National Mall.
- Lil' Wayne gets shipped to solitary after getting busted with an iPod in his cell.
- Reminder: please keep your lottery tickets someplace safe.
- British officials open their big fat mouths, remind terrorists to disguise their voices when using the phone.
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![](http://images02.military.com/sites/default/files/styles/thumbnail_large/public/2024-04/1time%20red%20o%27neill%20platoon%201200.jpg?itok=w-2J41Bh "John C. McGinley as Sgt. O'Neill in Oliver Stone's "Platoon." (Orion Pictures)")
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