As often happens with my life, I found I had to take my children along with me to last weekend's SpouseBUZZ Live event. AFG is gone and I'm on the opposite coast as my family. Quite frankly, I'm also afraid to leave them with anyone who doesn't have a biological tie. You see, I know what my children can do when allowed to plot with impunity.
And may I just apologize now to everyone my son ran over, squeezed, wiped dirty hands and/or nose on, threw things in the general direction of, yelled near, used bad language around, and anything else I might have inadvertently left off this list.
I have to admit, about the time my son fell onto and knocked over the small fountain in the lobby of the hotel (artfully caught by my blond daughter), I was wondering if he was going to need an exorcism. By the time we got to the dinner after the event, I was sure we did. I just didn't know where to find a priest to do the honors.
And in a totally Murphy's Law turn of events, when I marched him off to the bathroom for a private talking-to and all that entails, every female in the restaurant seemed to find it the perfect time to visit the loo. I'd just get into my gritted teeth and stink-eye routine when someone would come barging through the door and stare at me like I'd lost my mind.
The truth was that I hadn't lost my mind, my child had lost HIS mind. How come no one gave him that look?
It was quite the irritated airforcewife who finally accepted the fact that the child was not in any shape to be in public that evening, so I took him back to the hotel room with him screaming bloody murder the entire way.
Sure enough, he fell asleep ten minutes after his bath and was conked out until 7:30 the next morning. Today's bout with a bit of vomiting and other projectile problems seems to underscore my suspicion that he was not operating on all cylinders Saturday.
Be that as it may, quite a lot of military spouses stepped up to the helping plate on Saturday and I can't tell you how much I thank you all for that. Armywifetoddlermom actually got him to take a short nap on her shoulder. Joan d'Arc sat him next to her during the panel discussion. Sarah put up with two of my kids climbing her like a jungle gym every time they saw her. Even a military spouse I had never met before adjusted the volume on the computer I was trying to occupy the kids with and finally moved them to a more comfortable table in the back of the room.
Every time we do a Live event I am struck by how much we are all a family - we can laugh and cry with people we have never met before; sometimes more easily than we can do so with our own biological family. And we sure do step in to help each other without thinking twice, don't we?
So, once again, my mingled thanks and apologies! Next time, I'll give the Demon Child some Benadryl early on.