So, I guess there will be an Oscar's ceremony this year. I haven't watched that in, well, really ever. I can't say that the things Hollywood chooses to give awards for generally line up with what I like to watch. Mostly because I'm not too concerned about watching envelopes being pushed, and because I'm a big fan of happy endings. I see terrible things every day, I like escape at my movies.
But wouldn't it be great to have a televised military red-carpet event some year? I have to wonder how many people would watch as Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines are presented with various combat medals and the stories of their heroism told. I wonder how many people would watch those YouTube clips from Iraq and Afghanistan on TV.
And, you know, can't you just see the red carpet event now? Military spouses filing down the aisle in the nicest dresses they could find (which, I have to say, often way outshine some of the weird things the "stars" show up in) saying things like, "I got this for 10$ on the clearance rack! Woo HOOO!" followed by someone is anxious to point out that they sewed their own dress. Near tussles have erupted in the past as people vie for the "Best Deal of the Night" honors.
And then, of course, the dress uniforms... Mmmmmmm - drool inducing. Way better than Brad Pitt and George Clooney, for sure.
I actually have a few categories I'd like to suggest for a military red carpet event, in addition to the presentation of the awards. I'd like to suggest a lifetime achievement award for parents with three or more of their children serving on active duty at the same time.
Then I think there should be a deployment gremlins award, too. The recitation of the reasons the finalists have been nominated alone should have everyone cracking up so hard people fall off chairs. We had a few people at the most recent SpouseBUZZ Live event in Fayetteville who would absolutely be in the final ten for this one.
We also can't forget a "Most Humiliating Episode at Home" award. I will graciously remove myself from the running for this one, since I don't want to tempt fate any more than I do on a regular basis. I'm not sure that the episode I had of walking around with my tan panties showing while wearing a black skirt at the White House is THE most humiliating episode ever, but it is certainly indicative of my life in general. I don't want God to think that has to be bested, you know.
I do have to admit that I have a bit of an ulterior motive here - the swag. Celebrities get gift baskets with tens of thousands of dollars of free stuff when they do the Oscars. I like swag, myself, but the stuff we get is usually limited to some pens, pads of paper, and paper clip holders emblazoned with names like KBR and Raytheon that Air Force Guy brings home from various symposiums. Don't get me wrong, I actually LIKE the Northrup Grumman book light I use at night. And I'm always excited to see the "swag bag" hubby brings home from those meetings. But if someone wants to do up a military gift basket with some North Face and 5.11 products, a few military-spouse inspired Avon products, maybe a three time zone gold watch... Yeah, that would be some good swag.
I've got a few other ideas, too. For instance, I think Guard Wife should be the MC. I mean, really. If you had ever seen her moderating at an SB Live event, you would KNOW what I'm talking about. Billy Crystal has NOTHING on her.
And the opening ceremonies? Marine Drill Team. That's all I need to say, I think.
But I do have one question - who would do the Red Carpet "Joan Rivers" role?