Dear Ms. Vicki,
I’m tired of hearing about all of these women who are raped in the military. I just don’t believe it.
I’m an E-8, and I just got married. Before then, I’ve been with many women in garrison and in combat, and they tell major lies about what happened to them for VA benefits and pensions.
There may be a couple of women who are raped across the services, but not the hundreds that are reported. I’ve been deployed, and you just don’t have time to commit crimes against women.
Everyone is concerned about making it home safe and not focused on finding ways to rape female servicemembers. I think the media is searching to stay afloat amidst poor ratings so they are looking for stories that will stir up viewers.
Female servicemembers enjoy being one of very few women in their units. They like the attention, and they date most of the men available.
What they won’t say is that when the relationships end, they cry rape because they are scorned. They try to get back at the man who they feel did them wrong.
The military is becoming more biased toward women instead of considering both sides of the situation.There is a quick move to punish the man who is most often innocent and create more jobs to combat an issue that doesn’t exist. It's just more government waste.
I read your column every week and I would like for you to chime in on this serious matter with your thoughts.
Tired of the Lies About Rape
I think what you are saying is a bunch of BS. Are you serious, really? I think matters of the military receive the least amount of media coverage, so our concerns hardly receive top coverage.
The number of servicemembers who are raped each year is about 26,000. This number includes both men and women. This is a staggering number.
Your attitude reveals a major problem that victims report: Their superiors don’t believe them and they fear reprisal.
This is a major reason that many people don’t report the crime. Just think of this: If everyone reported what happened to them, the numbers would be higher.
There is always time and opportunity to rape someone in garrison or in combat, trust me. Moreover, there is acquaintance rape too.
Bottom line: Your thinking is not justified and it is inappropriate. If a soldier reported this crime to you, it is quite obvious what your response would be: Iit never happened. You would blame the victim and protect the offender.
I totally disagree with you. You are dead wrong. More support and resources are needed in this area immediately. Obviously, more sensitivity training for leaders is well warranted too.
|Ask Ms. Vicki Sexual Assault|
Ms. Vicki is a native of Dallas, is married to an active-duty Soldier and has three sons. She has a Master's of Science in Social Work from the University of Louisville, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and currently works as a therapist with military servicemembers and their families. She provides services for a wide array of concerns such as combat stress, PTSD, couples and marital problems, depression, grief and loss, stress and coping.
Ms. Vicki also writes an advice column "Dear Ms. Vicki" that appears in the Washington Times, the Fort Campbell Courier and the Heidelberg Herald Post. Ms. Vicki also hosts an internet radio show and blogs on her community site with the Washington Times. If you want to ask Ms. Vicki for advice about your military life, please email her at AskMsVicki@military-inc.com.