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Senior NCO Denies Rape Problem Exists

Ms. Vicki

Dear Ms. Vicki,

I'm tired of hearing about all of these women who are raped in the military. I just don't believe it.

I'm an E-8, and I just got married. Before then, I've been with many women in garrison and in combat, and they tell major lies about what happened to them for VA benefits and pensions.

There may be a couple of women who are raped across the services, but not the hundreds that are reported. I've been deployed, and you just don't have time to commit crimes against women.

Everyone is concerned about making it home safe and not focused on finding ways to rape female service members. I think the media is searching to stay afloat amidst poor ratings, so they are looking for stories that will stir up viewers.

Female service members enjoy being one of very few women in their units. They like the attention, and they date most of the men available.

What they won't say is that when the relationships end, they cry rape because they are scorned. They try to get back at the man who they feel did them wrong.

The military is becoming more biased toward women instead of considering both sides of the situation. There is a quick move to punish the man, who is most often innocent, and to create more jobs to combat an issue that doesn't exist. It's just more government waste.

I read your column every week, and I would like for you to chime in on this serious matter with your thoughts.

-- Tired of the Lies About Rape

Dear Tired,

I think what you are saying is a bunch of BS. Are you serious, really? I think matters of the military receive the least amount of media coverage, so our concerns hardly receive top coverage.

The number of service members who are raped each year is about 26,000. This number includes both men and women. This is a staggering number.

Your attitude reveals a major problem that victims report: Their superiors don't believe them and they fear reprisal.

This is a major reason that many people don't report the crime. Just think of this: If everyone reported what happened to them, the numbers would be higher.

There is always time and opportunity to rape someone in garrison or in combat, trust me. Moreover, there is acquaintance rape too.

Bottom line: Your thinking is not justified, and it is inappropriate. If a soldier reported this crime to you, it is quite obvious what your response would be: It never happened. You would blame the victim and protect the offender.

I totally disagree with you. You are dead wrong. More support and resources are needed in this area immediately. Obviously, more sensitivity training for leaders is well warranted too.

-- Ms. Vicki

Related Topics

Ask Ms. Vicki Sexual Assault

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Ms. Vicki, a native of Dallas, has been the ‘Dear Abby’ for the military community since her column began in 2005. A licensed therapist and licensed clinical social worker, Ms. Vicki holds a Master of Science in social work and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology. Her column has appeared in the Washington (D.C.) Times and in the Heidelberg (Germany) Post Herald. She has been featured on CNN, CBS, ABC and NBC.

Ms. Vicki has retired from writing new columns for Although Ms. Vicki is no longer offering new advice on, you can still email military benefits questions to our Questions and Benefits team. Need military spouse career help? Email our Dear Career writers.