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She's 17 and Head Over Heels for a Marine

Ms. Vicki

Dear Ms. Vicki,

My boyfriend and I started dating right after he got back from basic training. I am 17 and will turn 18 in December. He just turned 19.

I really love him, but my parents have "grounded" me from my boyfriend. I'm not allowed to have contact with him. My dad told me that if I didn't leave my boyfriend, he would call my boyfriend's CO and get him kicked out of the Marine Corps.

We met before he went to basic, and I instantly fell in love him him. He was funny and we shared a lot of the same interests, then we lost touch when he went to basic. He got back in December, and we started dating a few days later.

The day after Christmas, I snuck out to meet him and we got a hotel room -- the room number was 313. He left January 5th to go to Camp Pendleton for SOI. I received a letter from him last Friday. He said that he was in a good platoon and he was happy. His rifle number is 313. I recently had to do a math project. The angle of elevation? 31.3 degrees. I am not sure whether to take this as a sign or just ignore it. I wake up at night worrying about him. I just need a little advice.

Sincerely,
The Girlfriend

Dear Girlfriend,

You are reading too much into this, but I do appreciate your honesty. Thank you for reading the column and for writing to me.

I gather that you are in love with your Marine boyfriend, right? Every woman can remember the excitement of a first love. The person you are willing to defy your parents for and sneak out of the house to try and see. It's very exciting until something happens, like an unwanted pregnancy or the boy you were passionately in love with decides he is no longer interested and you are left heartbroken.

Listen, I don't want to sound like your mother or your father. You hear their lectures all the time, and it didn't stop you from hooking up in the hotel room. I can't even say that you should take it slow, because everything has already been accelerated. Still I will say to finish high school, go to college and complete your undergraduate degree and continue on with higher education. Most of all, try to figure out what you are passionate about and go for it.

Yes, you are 17, you are a young lady, you are a sexual being. Please take care of yourself. If you can't talk with your parents, then talk to a trusted adult about birth control. You should be using protection. Your Marine boyfriend is young, he experiencing a lot of new things, too ... like sex.

Please let me tell you what my mother used to say to me: "You shouldn't be the experiment." I wish him all of the best but, honestly, he is not so special that you should ruin your relationship with your parents sneaking around to see him. Keep things in perspective. Let me know if you are still in touch with him.

Take care,
Ms. Vicki

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Contributor

Ms. Vicki is a native of Dallas, has been the Dear Abby for the military community since her column began in 2005. A licensed therapist and licensed clinical social worker, Ms. Vicki holds a Master of Science in social work and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology.

Ms. Vicki appears regularly on Military.com and in the Fort Campbell Courier. Her column has also appeared in the Washington (D.C.) Times and in the Heidelberg (Germany) Post Herald. She has been featured on CNN, CBS, ABC and NBC.

Looking for advice about your military life? Email Ms. Vicki here. Find Ms. Vicki on Facebook here.  Find Ms. Vicki on Twitter here.

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