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She Wants to Take Her Ex-Boyfriend to Court for Money He Owes Her

Ms. Vicki

Dear Ms. Vicki,

Can you tell me how I can take my Army boyfriend to court? He owes me money, and he is refusing to pay me back.

I thought I had met the man of my dreams, but he turned out to be the devil in disguise. He's a real user, a tough guy and a master manipulator.

We were together for a total of six months, and he left me about $8,000 in debt. When I first met him at Applebee's, he was the perfect gentleman. He was on his way to the field for one week of training. When he returned, we were together day and night. He moved from the barracks into my apartment with me and my two kids. They fell in love with him and they called him "Daddy" because they loved him so much.

He said he loved them and he wanted to marry me and adopt them. I bought him the new PlayStation that he wanted, I paid his car payments and I have payday loans in my name because he said he needed money to give to his mother and younger siblings. I never met his mother or any of his family.

When he moved out, he took everything and now he's refusing to take my calls.

I can't believe a man in the Army would treat me like this! Why in the world is he wearing a uniform if it doesn't mean anything? I have been crying my eyes out at the way he treated me and my kids.

I work as a nursing assistant, and I don't make a lot of money. One of the nurses I work with has an ex-husband who was in the Army, and she told me to go to his unit and report him. Do you think they will do anything? I really don't know how this works.

-- Lovesick Over Him

Dear Lovesick,

Get over it and do it quickly! He took advantage of you, and he's not coming back. In the future, stop hooking up with military guys you meet at Applebee's and moving them in with you and your children after knowing them for only a couple of weeks.

Think about it: You didn't even know this man and you moved him into your apartment with you and your children. He could have been a child molester, a murderer or God only knows what else.

How do you know he is even really in the Army? You don't know who this man is, you don't know his family or anything.

You fell in love with nothing. He didn't give you anything, but you gave him everything and you put yourself and your children in danger. Don't ever do that again! And don't ever go into debt for anyone. You didn't owe this man anything.

Now here's the deal: If you can find him, you should take him to court and I hope you can get all or most of your hard-earned money back. You can try to find out what unit he is in and go there to talk to his commander or his first sergeant.

However, I really wouldn't be surprised if you find out this guy is not even in the Army or that he has moved to another duty station. Each of these scenarios will probably mean that you will never see one dime of your money again. Don't be so careless in the future.

I do appreciate you for reading the column and for taking the time to write to me.

-- Ms. Vicki

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Contributor

Ms. Vicki is a native of Dallas, has been the Dear Abby for the military community since her column began in 2005. A licensed therapist and licensed clinical social worker, Ms. Vicki holds a Master of Science in social work and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology.

Ms. Vicki appears regularly on Military.com and in the Fort Campbell Courier. Her column has also appeared in the Washington (D.C.) Times and in the Heidelberg (Germany) Post Herald. She has been featured on CNN, CBS, ABC and NBC.

Looking for advice about your military life? Email Ms. Vicki here. Find Ms. Vicki on Facebook here.  Find Ms. Vicki on Twitter here.

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