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She Wants to Get Married Now But He Can't Leave Base

Ms. Vicki

Hi Ms. Vicki, 

I have a question about getting married to my fiancé who is enlisted in the Air Force. He recently graduated from BMT and is currently in his capstone course for combat controller in Texas for two weeks, staying on base for two additional weeks, and then heading to Mississippi on June 1st for about 80 days. 

I am kicking myself for not going to the county clerk's office during his town pass in San Antonio last week and am now feeling myself getting very anxious. Unfortunately, he still does not have base liberty or his cell phone yet, so I have no one to turn to. We want to get married in the next month so I can have his benefits, but I am worried we are going to run into problems obtaining the marriage license.

Do you know if the Air Force allows newly BMT graduated airmen to leave base to obtain a marriage license? The court hours makes this extremely difficult to ensure he will be available, nevermind being allowed to even leave the base. If not, do you know if there is anyway around the 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. court hours? I know in Texas they allow proxy marriages but I've read this only applies when one person is deployed out of the country. 

Thanks in advance, 

My Military Marriage

Dear Military Marriage, 

What I hear you saying is that your fiancé will be finished with all of his training in a little over two months. What’s the rush and why would you want a proxy marriage when you can be face to face with the man you love very shortly? I think you deserve to make some memorable “memories” instead of rushing like there’s no tomorrow. 

Why are you so anxious? I get the feeling that something is wrong. As a military spouse you will be entitled to healthcare and other base privileges. However, there are ways to get you some inexpensive healthcare coverage until you are married. 

For now, your fiancé will be very busy. The school and trainings he is attending will come first. That’s why your fiancé doesn’t have a telephone or anything. The Air Force doesn’t want him to have any distractions. Because of this, I’m pretty sure his commanders won’t give him time to take leave for anything else unless it is a dire emergency. 

The courthouse won’t change their hours to accommodate anyone. Their business hours are written in stone. For now, I think you should support your fiancé and allow your family and friends to help you through this stressful few months of his training. Honestly, you have enough time to plan you a nice small wedding. In the meantime, continue to check out the different blogs and other resources on Military.com. Please stay in touch with me and let me know how everything is going. 

Sincerely, 

Ms. Vicki 

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Contributor

Ms. Vicki is a native of Dallas, has been the Dear Abby for the military community since her column began in 2005. A licensed therapist and licensed clinical social worker, Ms. Vicki holds a Master of Science in social work and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology.

Ms. Vicki appears regularly on Military.com and in the Fort Campbell Courier. Her column has also appeared in the Washington (D.C.) Times and in the Heidelberg (Germany) Post Herald. She has been featured on CNN, CBS, ABC and NBC.

Looking for advice about your military life? Email Ms. Vicki here. Find Ms. Vicki on Facebook here.  Find Ms. Vicki on Twitter here.

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