Most Popular Relationships Articles

Separated Spouse Debates Wisdom of Moving Back In Together

Ms. Vicki

Dear Ms. Vicki,

My husband and I have gotten into an argument.

We are currently separated, and we're set to move back into an apartment together soon, but now I'm having second thoughts. We are not legally separated, and I have been living with family. Now it is time for us to move in together, but every time we are about to move somewhere together, he wants to fight and argue. It makes me wonder if he even wants to live with me.

We haven't been married very long. I started to see a therapist just to get my mind right, and my therapist advised me that his behavior should be reported to his command, but in the position I'm in now I don't want to get him in trouble. I'm afraid of making things worse, but I have to look out for myself. What resources do I have? Please help me.

Sincerely,
Questions About My Marriage

Dear Marriage,

I'm guessing your therapist said you should refer your husband to his command because of abuse (emotional, physical, etc.). If so, you should contact the Family Advocacy on your base or post.

Moreover, you shouldn't move in with him.

On the other hand, I applaud you for seeing a therapist. You should absolutely look out for yourself. It's important for both of you to be safe. Conversely, you may be saying "how can I work on my marriage if we are never living in the same house?" Perhaps you should continue with therapy longer and find a marriage therapist for you and your husband to visit as a couple before you move in together.

It sounds like there are a lot of concerns in your marriage that should be addressed. So don't move in together yet and do contact the Family Advocacy or a Victim's Advocate if there is abuse. Also, you should feel free to contact your husband's command if that is needed.

Sincerely,
Ms. Vicki

Related Topics

Ask Ms. Vicki

Military News App by Military.com

Download the new Military.com News App for Android on Google Play or for Apple devices on iTunes!

Contributor

Ms. Vicki is a native of Dallas, has been the Dear Abby for the military community since her column began in 2005. A licensed therapist and licensed clinical social worker, Ms. Vicki holds a Master of Science in social work and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology.

Ms. Vicki appears regularly on Military.com and in the Fort Campbell Courier. Her column has also appeared in the Washington (D.C.) Times and in the Heidelberg (Germany) Post Herald. She has been featured on CNN, CBS, ABC and NBC.

Looking for advice about your military life? Email Ms. Vicki here. Find Ms. Vicki on Facebook here.  Find Ms. Vicki on Twitter here.

© 2016 Military Advantage