Relationship Topics

Sign up for the Spouse & Family Newsletter

Most Popular Relationships Articles

He Slept With My Friend in Our House

Ms. Vicki

Dear Ms. Vicki,

I just found out that my husband had a relationship with my so-called friend for three months after he got back for deployment. They had sex once in our house.

He also has kept this from me for a year. I checked his Facebook page and she messaged him, talking about all the details of how it happened and she wants him to tell me. Which he had no intentions of telling me ever!

I don't know how to even begin to forgive him. He says he is sorry and it was a mistake, but they talked about their future together! He was going to leave me for her until he found out I was pregnant. That didn't stop him from having sex and disrespecting me, even telling me to get an abortion.


Dear Kennedy,

Your answer is actually in your letter. Let me give it to you from your own report: Your husband has a sexual relationship with your friend. He was planning to leave you for her until you got pregnant with his child. Then he became verbally abusive, insisting that you terminate the pregnancy.

Kennedy, why are you with this man? Of course, he would never tell you. Instead, you looked on Facebook and found a message from your "so-called friend" telling him-to tell you about their relationship.

Obviously, he wasn't moving fast enough to leave you for her. In your defense, she wants to be with your husband. He has allowed his side chick to disrespect his wife and ruin his marriage.

On the other hand, maybe she is the one who deserves to be with him and not you. This is for you to decide. His behavior could be a sign of more of the same in the future.

Kennedy, you can keep him if you want, but in my opinion he's voted off the island.

Ms. Vicki

Related Topics

Ask Ms. Vicki

Military News App by

Download the new News App for Android on Google Play or for Apple devices on iTunes!


Ms. Vicki, a native of Dallas, has been the ‘Dear Abby’ for the military community since her column began in 2005. A licensed therapist and licensed clinical social worker, Ms. Vicki holds a Master of Science in social work and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology. Her column has appeared in the Washington (D.C.) Times and in the Heidelberg (Germany) Post Herald. She has been featured on CNN, CBS, ABC and NBC.

Ms. Vicki has retired from writing new columns for Although Ms. Vicki is no longer offering new advice on, you can still email military benefits questions to our Questions and Benefits team. Need military spouse career help? Email our Dear Career writers.