Dear Ms. Vicki,
It’s Friend In Need again. Well, since I wrote you last week, a lot has happened. My boyfriend who came home from Europe and I were getting along wonderfully. I thought that we were actually headed in the right direction and that he finally was seeing the light.
Then on Friday, we went to a festival and we both drank and had a great time until we left. Once we got in the car, things changed. He got angry and started to say all of these mean things to me, things that made me cry. Then he got mad that I was crying, and it made him even more angry.
We did get home eventually, where the argument continued. He then punched me in my face around six or seven times, leaving me with a black eye. He also struck me in the mouth.
It got ugly after that. This is not the first time that he has hit me since he came home, but it was going to be the last. I finally stood up for myself and fought back. He was injured and left.
He came back to our house on Saturday to taunt me and to be mean some more, all the while he was acting like this situation was all my fault. He lay around and napped like nothing was wrong. Then showered and left.
When he got back home that night, he got in to my purse where he took back all his credit cards that he had given me. It turned into an argument again, and needless to say, he struck me again.
Then I asked him to leave. I tossed some of his things out and he just left them all. Then 20 minutes later, he came back with the police to assist him in getting his things, essentially making me look like the crazy one.
I haven’t heard from him since, and I am so brokenhearted. I have no idea what to do. I keep asking myself “What did I do to deserve this?” and “ How did this happen?” what could I have done differently? How could he just walk away and not care one bit after all these years? I have even contemplated suicide. Not because of a man, but because he has made me feel so worthless, and told me no one could ever love me.
Friend In Need
Dear Friend In Need,
Are you freggin’ kidding me? What in the world! Why didn't you call the police when he beat the crap out of you the first time or when he came with the police? The police should have seen your black eyes and the bruises.
Jeesh, please leave this guy alone. You deserve to live and not die. Somehow, you have todig deep within and get your self-esteem back. You obviously had it before you became involved with this imbecile do-do bird!
Where are your family and friends? Who can you depend on to help you get through this? Don't worry about being judged or being called stupid or whatever. You just need other people who will be supportive and who will help you.
Number one, stop contacting that slug. Change your phone numbers. Don't text him, Facebook him, Twitter him or anything. You need to contact the police and report that he assaulted you. You should also file a protective no contact order. Listen, I'm so serious. Don't play around with this.
Lastly,contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE(7233). They will be a great listening ear, supportive and help you with a plan of action. Please keep in touch with me and let me know how you are doing.
|Family and Spouse|
Ms. Vicki is a native of Dallas, is married to an active-duty Soldier and has three sons. She has a Master's of Science in Social Work from the University of Louisville, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and currently works as a therapist with military servicemembers and their families. She provides services for a wide array of concerns such as combat stress, PTSD, couples and marital problems, depression, grief and loss, stress and coping.
Ms. Vicki also writes an advice column "Dear Ms. Vicki" that appears in the Washington Times, the Fort Campbell Courier and the Heidelberg Herald Post. Ms. Vicki also hosts an internet radio show and blogs on her community site with the Washington Times. If you want to ask Ms. Vicki for advice about your military life, please email her at AskMsVicki@military-inc.com.
Maybe it isn’t the big things that sap your will to live a military life. Maybe it is the little things. Maybe it is the one-two punch of things that happen. That’s what I was thinking the last time the one-two punch happened to me. I don’t know why it mattered so much. It wasn’t ... Continue Reading