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Get Legal Advice If a Divorce Is in the Offing

Ms. Vicki

Dear Ms. Vicki,

My husband and I have decided to get divorced, but he's currently deployed to Korea.

We've been married for almost a year. We both agree on the divorce and agree that what's mine is mine and what's his is his. To be more exact, his truck was his before we married and same with my car. All the furniture we have came from my grandma's house.

This will also be my second divorce from a service member. My first husband was a Marine who was abusive. The way my ex did that divorce was weird, and I didn't really sign anything.

I guess now what I'm asking is, what is the cheapest and easiest way to go through with the divorce? We currently rent, and the lease is up in July. We don't have kids, and he already said the animals are mine. I currently don't have a job due to medical conditions, but I am trying. All my family lives in another state.

Sincerely,
Confused Blonde

Dear Confused Blonde,

It's time to wise up. There's no reason to be confused. No one should be in an abusive relationship and no one deserves abuse.

With that said, I'm very happy you got out of your first marriage. However, here you go again with another marriage to another service member for less than a year. Something is clearly not working with the way you choose men. You have to figure this out, because if you don't, you will continue to choose the wrong guy. You'll keep picking guys who are bad for you.

If I put you in a room with 200 men, and 199 of them are perfectly healthy, sane, caring, supportive men who want to love you and one of them is crazy, your history suggests that you would leave with the one crazy guy. This also suggests that something is not only wrong with the men you choose, but something is going on with you, too. You deserve to be in a stable, healthy relationship, especially because you have health concerns. If not, then you can learn to be happy with you.

I think you should get some legal advice. You should contact the legal office on your base or post. Usually they have walk-in hours for appointments. I'm glad that children are not a factor, but don't try to take the cheap way out. Talk to a lawyer who can give you good counsel. Hope this helps.

Sincerely,
Ms. Vicki

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Contributor

Ms. Vicki is a native of Dallas, has been the Dear Abby for the military community since her column began in 2005. A licensed therapist and licensed clinical social worker, Ms. Vicki holds a Master of Science in social work and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology.

Ms. Vicki appears regularly on Military.com and in the Fort Campbell Courier. Her column has also appeared in the Washington (D.C.) Times and in the Heidelberg (Germany) Post Herald. She has been featured on CNN, CBS, ABC and NBC.

Looking for advice about your military life? Email Ms. Vicki here. Find Ms. Vicki on Facebook here.  Find Ms. Vicki on Twitter here.

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