Intimacy can be defined as a close, familiar and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person. In the initial stages of a relationship, couples report great intimacy, including stimulating conversations, much laughter, storytelling, holding hands and doing simple things like cuddling while watching a movie or a favorite sitcom.
Over time and in many situations a very short time the fire goes out and the thrill is gone -- leaving ZERO intimacy. This leaves many asking: What happened, how and why? Something that I like to do is to take advantage of every opportunity to give questionnaires, surveys and have casual conversations with people posing important questions. Questions like: If there is a lack of intimacy in your relationship, name three reasons why and name three ways to fix it.
Interestingly, these are the top 3 reasons given for the lack of intimacy:
#3: My schedule is too busy, leaving no time for intimacy
#2: No Warm-up Exercises (foreplay) -- Most women said their partner wants to get to the point too quickly. However, men also said they want more spontaneity in their relationships too.
#1 Poor Hygiene (body odor or halitosis/bad breath)
Quick ways to increase the intimacy in your relationships would be to do the reverse of the top 3 reasons above: get yearly physicals, report any foul odors etc. to your primary care physician or other specialists and visit your dentist to determine the causes of halitosis, and finally…slow down and give it time to heat up!
Here's some additional Ms. Vicki "quick tips" to restore the intimacy in your relationship:
Let me know what you think. Can you share other ways to improve the intimacy in a relationship?
Ms. Vicki is a native of Dallas, is married to an active-duty Soldier and has three sons. She has a Master's of Science in Social Work from the University of Louisville, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and currently works as a therapist with military servicemembers and their families. She provides services for a wide array of concerns such as combat stress, PTSD, couples and marital problems, depression, grief and loss, stress and coping.
Ms. Vicki also writes an advice column "Dear Ms. Vicki" that appears in the Washington Times, the Fort Campbell Courier and the Heidelberg Herald Post. Ms. Vicki also hosts an internet radio show and blogs on her community site with the Washington Times. If you want to ask Ms. Vicki for advice about your military life, please email her at AskMsVicki@military-inc.com.
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