by Susanna Hickman Bartee
Content provided by Militarymama.net

I hesitate to even bring this up because it is such a painful subject. But sooner or later, if you are the parents of small children, you will have to face the inevitable: a long car or plane trip with the kids. If you are blessed enough to live near doting grandparents and have never had to drag the kids along on vacation, then you will have no idea what I am talking about. But if you are like most Americans these days, you will find yourself at some point traveling. With children. I don't highly recommend it, but I haven't figured out yet how to avoid it.

By my calculations, since we became parents almost 12 years ago, we have traveled more than 100,000 miles with children in tow. The funny thing is that I really thought a trans-Atlantic flight alone with one six-month-old was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do. That was in 1993. I had no idea how easy I had it.

In 2004, I made that same 10-hour, trans-Atlantic flight alone with four children. And I was nine months pregnant with my fifth. I figured based solely on how pitiful I must have looked that the airline would upgrade me to first class right away. They did not see it that way. They just looked at me like I was crazy. Then again, everyone looked at me like I was crazy. Even my kids. When I glanced in the mirror during my 53rd trip to the airplane bathroom, I looked at myself like I was crazy.

But herein lies one of the truest maxims of the military life -- "You've gotta do what you've gotta do."

So if you've gotta do it too, here are some tips to make things a little bit easier. These are all things that go beyond the simple advice of "pack extra clothes and lots of snacks." And they are all things I have learned the hard way.

1. TV is your friend. Whether in a car or on a plane, DO NOT leave home without electronic entertainment. I don't care what your standards are at home. Throw them out the window while you are traveling. In my opinion portable DVD players and in-flight personal TVs are among the best inventions EVER for parents.

2. Keep it as fair as possible. I would not recommend buying one Gameboy or other such treat and expecting the kids to share. Yes, I know they should. Of course they are spoiled. But you can fully expect even the most unselfish child to melt down in the middle of a trip if he or she discovers a sibling has had a half-second longer turn. Just give in and get an identical toy for each. The peace and quiet you will gain as their little eyes glaze over and they develop early carpal tunnel syndrome is more than worth it.

3. Pack extra tissues and pain reliever. Another inevitability of traveling with kids: You may leave home with perfectly healthy children, but before you are halfway to your destination, someone will come down with a miserable ailment. Come to think of it, bring extra Band-Aids too. And a few plastic bags for, well, unexpected motion sickness.

4. Beware of running out of diapers. Few things can cause more anxiety than being stuck on a flight or a long stretch of highway knowing you just used the last diaper and that baby hasn't pooped for two days. Frankly, there is something about travel that encourages my kids to go like they've never gone before. Last trip I changed two dirty diapers before we'd been in the air an hour. I only had two left to last me nine hours. Who needs that stress?

5. Do not make eye contact with fellow passengers. It doesn't matter how much they like children, no one is happy to see you board with yours. You will not get sympathy from anyone, but that's okay. There are only two types of travelers anyway: parents who have done it before and understand (though they are still not happy to see you) and those who never will.

6. Beware the Benadryl. I've heard plenty of parents joke about giving their kids a swig of antihistamine cold medicine before a trip to help induce sleepiness. Let me just suggest that you try this at home before actually getting into the car or onto the plane. If it backfires -- and it can -- you may end up with a wired yet cranky 2-year-old awake for 12 hours straight.

Like I said, I have learned these lessons the hard way. The good news is that children do grow up and if you have dragged them around the world enough times, they eventually get really good at traveling. Just hope that it happens before you are putting them in a car or on a plane to leave for college.

And to all those people who were on the flight to Dallas/Fort Worth in 1998 when my toddler son was pitching what is known in our family as "the six-hour fit" ... I am really sorry. I would have apologized in person that day, but I was too busy not making eye contact. And cursing the makers of Benadryl.

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