Ernest Hemingway once wrote that "..war is never glorious.  Ask the infantry, ask the dead."

Once again, we are a nation at war.  We are increasingly divided over our entanglement in Iraq, and opposition grows with each additional American casualty.  Whichever side you are on, we can agree that those who give their lives bring vivid appreciation to Hemingwayıs provocative words.

While war may lack glory, it certainly has a God and family connection.  Each land and air combat unit has a chaplain for good reason.  Through the ages, the American soldier has seldom engaged in acts that violated international norms.  No one can begin to compare us with the insurgents in Iraq, the Serbs, the Nazis or Japanese in WWII, or even the Viet Cong.  Our warriors are anchored by their faith which becomes a moral compass.  

My war was Vietnam but my legacy became, in a manner of speaking, My Lai. This small village was a place where a handful of soldiers, led by Lt. William Calley, killed 504 unarmed civilians, many of who were elderly, women, or children.  This evil event was a seminal event for many, tragically defining the American experience in that far off war.  

It is this calamity that compels reflection during this Memorial Day, a process that should lead us to distinctions that set our armed forces apart, characteristics that we should celebrate.

Living not far from Fort Bragg brings me into contact with some of the best soldiers to ever wear a uniform under Old Glory.  I make this statement not based on a sole chance encounter, but by meeting these individuals almost on a daily basis.  I have engaged these men and women on issues of war and peace.  Without exception, they demonstrate dedication, deep-seated morality and, yes, love of God, family, and country.

In conversing with these warriors, I find a special connection.  It is fraction of Americaıs families that continually produce those who carry our colors into battle. When I am with these folks, I can see that they are my sons and daughters, young men and women who are ready to die for this nation. They are here not to mark time, but to defend the values and honor of a great nation.  

In my years as a combat Marine, I never saw a "My Lai" even though we were constantly tempted to "waste" those civilians who knew of and condoned the booby traps and sniper nests that killed and maimed my fellow Marines.  These provocations seldom led to revengeful acts.  

In thinking back to this period, I remember the Catholic priest who admonished us to pray each day for our enemy.  This, he claimed, would help us appreciate the dimensions of our duty while finding the confidence to charge ahead.

Today, our brave men and women are far more likely to build a schoolhouse than harm a civilian.  They are far more likely to feed the hungry than torture prisoners who may know of traps in waiting.  These men and women, faithful followers of traditional American values enriched by religious teachings of houses of worship and loving families, distinguish themselves not only by their courage but by the moral acts of kindness and virtue that will endure far into the future.

I was fresh from a Navy hospital when I learned of the My Lai massacre.  I wanted those involved to be brought to justice as quickly as possible. Soon to attend college, I knew that I would be asked how many women and children I had murdered.  It mattered not how we had built a school in An Hoa, imported American pigs for local farms, or provided medical care in countless "Country Fair" operations.  In our culture, we learn of the "bad" rather than the "good" and we often paint, with broad strokes, indicting the innocent along with the guilty.

When my war finally ground to a halt in 1975, historians and others were quick to declare our defeat.  Did we "lose" Vietnam?  Based on todayıs evidence, I find it difficult to reach this conclusion.  While I have yet to return to Vietnam, I have many friends who have been there.  To a person, they describe the deep admiration that the Vietnamese have for us.  This sentiment was recently affirmed in a survey that showed that the United States was by far the most admired country in the minds of the Vietnamese.  

As we move closer to Memorial Day, a flood of emotion overwhelms me.  I think of my father who fought guerillas in Panama from 1921-1926, my uncles who risked their lives in World War II and Korea.  My family, like others, has gladly paid the price of our freedom and will do so in the future.

I am certain that we can best honor the dead of our military by honoring those who wear our colors today.  In spite of the rare, evil acts that we may read about or see, the overwhelming evidence is that we can be proud of those who serve, and those who have served.  Without their sacrifice and blood, we would be a far different nation today.  By examining our relations with our former enemies such as Germany and Japan, we can see the honor that our soldiers and sailors have brought us.

Yes, Hemingway was right about the pain of war of those who have served.  But there is certain glory as well, the honor of having engaged our enemies with a sense of morality that distinguishes us.  As we pay homage to our dead, let us hold our heads high.