I'll admit it. Being a military wife and a pack rat are not a winning combination. I'm one of those people who assign value to grocery lists (Hey, someday I might use the back to make a new list!) And yes, I keep earrings that have lost their mates long ago. I realize that unless I plan on becoming a pirate, I should throw them out.

I married a man who believes clutter is criminal. I asked my husband, Mike, the other week how we co-exist in the same house. "I throw away your stuff when you're not looking," he said.

When Mike receives a birthday card, he reads it, smiles, then tears it up and into the trash it goes. As newlyweds, I looked on in horror the first time I witnessed him do this to a card from his grandmother. Who was this man? Weren't cards meant to decorate the fireplace mantel, collect dust, then to be stowed away in a shoebox in your closet? My cards to him come with a "you rip me up and no dinner for you, bud" disclaimer.

Card-killing behavior aside, I was not prepared last summer just before our move to a new duty station, when Mike returned from the storage shed and announced he had thrown out all his high school sports trophies, awards, certificates and memorabilia. Who was this man?

Me: "YOU DID WHAT?"
Mike: "I threw it all out."
Me: "YOU DID WHAT?"
Mike: "I came to the realization it means nothing to me now. It's stuff from my past. It does nothing for me now. You're only as good as your last fight."
Me: "You're only as good as your last fight?!"

Yes, it's true. I married a gladiator.

For 16 years my husband lugged that tattered and taped cardboard box of school-day memories across oceans, out west, back east and out west again; to cold spots and hot spots and everywhere in between. I wondered what "stuff" other military couples kept with them move after move. I'm talking about the box that doesn't have a place in your home - and maybe not even in your heart - yet onto the moving truck it goes to be deposited in a new state or country in another attic, garage, basement or shed.

I asked military friends what they cart with them from coast to coast. Many have trunks full of curtains, old uniforms, unit plaques and awards. My friend Mindy has a box in her basement filled with those inscribed wine glasses you get at every military dinner, dining in, reunion and party.

"For some reason, you take them home, never use them, but won't throw them out," Mindy said. "What's up with that? Like looking at a glass with 'Test Pilot You'll Be Sorry Party' means anything!"

Friends Avis and Sandi have boxes and boxes filled with odd-sized European curtains. "We still have them knowing that they will not fit any house that we will live in for the rest of our careers as Army spouses," Avis said. "The curtains are just awful, but we keep them in our storage rooms taking up more space along with all the Army boots, and BDU's that our husbands had to have but they do not use."

Avis said her husband has 10 pairs of Army boots that he has not worn for 13 years. "But we keep them in the storage room taking up even more space."

My friend Liza's mug collection never seems to get unpacked. "I have envisioned a wall of mugs in my 'final resting place,' that place from which I will not PCS for at least 10 years or until death - whichever comes first," she said.

For 15 years my friend Anne has toted around never-used wedding gifts, to include crystal vases and silver tongs. "We never know when we might need them, of course," Anne tried to explain. "Better to have than to have not."

Another friend, Lyn, is at her wits end with her husband's boxes of stuff. "I have found it interesting on how we keep lugging around the box of uniforms issued to my husband when he first came in the Army 25 years ago; the box of old beer steins collected while stationed in Germany 23 years ago that will someday decorate the "Man" room, and of course, the box of MRE's that I am sure we are moving around in case of a nuclear attack."

Lyn recently decided it was time for the big purge. "Maybe that box of 1980 encyclopedias can be donated to a good cause," she said. "Because, after all, you never know when you'll need to look something up. "

My friend Noel has three footlockers filled with every card and letter she has received in her life. Perhaps my husband can work out a deal with Noel to keep his birthday cards in her attic.