Two Sweethearts; Lawyer Problems

Lawyer Misrepresented Husband

Dear Ms.Vicki,

"I hope you can help us on this matter. My husband is veteran and went through a divorce back in 1995.

"During his divorce proceedings he hired a lawyer to represent him. However, before he left to attend his court date, he was told that the date changed and that he wouldn't need to attend. He called his lawyer to see why he wasn't notified of the change. And he was told by his receptionist that he didn't need to attend. He asked if his lawyer attended the proceedings and she said that no one attended on his behalf and that everything had all ready been agreed to.

"So since no one was there to represent him, the judge gave his ex-wife everything she asked for.

She remarried soon after the divorce, and my spouse retired. She ended up with his SBP and almost more than half of his retirement.

"Shortly after we got married, he was diagnosed with cancer, and now he's worried about what this means. We live in Florida he went to the VA representative for advice. They said that there is nothing he can do but take her back to court.

"But he's sick, not working, on SSI Disability and doesn't have the funds to take her back to court.

"Can you help us give us some advice on how to handle this? We want to thank you in advance for any help you can give us."

Stressed New Military Wife

Dear New Military Wife,

My heart does go out to you because of this situation. It’s not your fault and it seems that you inherited this problem and now you're trying to help change the situation.

In talking with other’s who have written me regarding a situation, you have to take the person back to court to possibly change anything. But he should try to appeal to the attorney’s who represented him (or misrepresented him) in the divorce case.

From your report it sounds like he was shafted since his attorney bailed on the proceedings. They should know the lack of representation caused financial hardships for him.

If anything else could be done regarding his benefits, you should contact your local VA. I wish you and your husband the best. I pray for his recovery. Please take care of yourself and feel free to check in with me when you can.

Ms. Vicki

Two Sweethearts

Dear Ms. Vicki,

"I've been married for 13 years and my husband has been in the Navy for 14 years. We have one child together. Recently, I was contacted by a woman who stated that she was his fiancée and that she also had a 5-year-old child with him.

"I informed her that he was married to me and she was shocked stating that she was in the process of moving to where he was stationed to live with him.

"When I confronted him he didn't deny he had a child with her, but stated he was lying to her about other things. However he was going to see her on the weekends since they already lived hours away.

"My son and I live in another state and he always has an excuse about why we can't live with him. I need to know how these some men who serve our country can be allowed to treat their families with such disrespect. Who can I report him to because I believe he is using the military as a way to get away with his double life?Any answers you can give me will be greatly appreciated."

Sincerely,

Dear KW,

I hear stories of many military men who lead two or three different lives all the time. They tell their spouse they can't relocate with them because of their job is secret or it’s a secret location, etc.

Sometimes, spouses now about these secret lives, but don't come forth because they believe they will only hurt themselves and their children.

If you feel the marriage is worth saving you should seek marital counseling. You should also contact his unit leader or superior regarding his behavior. What is your husband saying about this? Write me back and let me know how you're doing.

Ms. Vicki

Do you have a question for Ms. Vicki about deployments, making new friends at a new duty station, or military life in general? E-mail her atAskMsVicki@military-inc.com, and she'll answer your questions. Two or three Q&As will be published on Military.com's Advisors channel.