By my personal standards, I’m a successful person. I married the love of my life, and we have a very healthy marriage. I have an amazing family with two intelligent, beautiful children who are growing like weeds.  And, we have two very cute dogs and one rotten cat. We have a nice, historic home nestled on an Army post.  My husband proudly serves our country and our family stands beside him. We’re also lucky enough to make enough money to pay our bills. I work from home and co-founded a successful business that allows me to feel as though I contribute not only to the Army community, but also to my family (both monetarily and with my time). 

So, I say again, by my standards, I’m a success…well, maybe. 

But no matter what I’ve accomplished there was one goal I never conquered — losing weight. I never understood why I could take on everything else, but couldn’t conquer this weight-loss thing. Oh, I can reach a goal. Ask anyone. Put something in front of me and tell me “You can’t do it.” Those magic words light a fire in the belly and motivate me more than you can imagine.

However,  the process of losing weight — going to the gym, the dieting, the fear of losing it all just to gain it back, even the “money spent” on new clothes — is the largest mountain to climb in my head.  A mountain, that up until last month, I tried to climb once and failed. 

I haven’t always been heavy; it was a natural progression. I had two kids, too many Oreos, and not enough movement. It’s not that I didn’t know where the weight came from or why it was still there. And it’s not like I didn’t know how to get rid of it. I rationalized not losing weight out to fear of failing, and told myself that I just didn’t want it bad enough.

I just needed a little inspiration and that’s exactly what the universe gave me. After being inspired by one of my good friends who lost more than 40 pounds and seeing how good she felt, I began to think about how I would like to feel that way, too. 

All of the sudden, I saw signs that pointed to weight loss. I was surrounded by people talking about the gym, people who lost a lot of weight, and people who were reaching personal goals. Being the goal-oriented person that I am I just couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to conquer this fear, or at least start on the journey towards it. 

So the first thing I decided to do was form a plan. I have a tendency to see the big picture, but have a hard time chipping away at the smaller goals to get there. The big picture was my mountain, and that mountain scared the hell out of me. It was very unrealistic that I would wake up one morning and stop eating French fries and go run a marathon. I realize this. I adopted the rule that we have to take this one molehill at a time. I think they call that “eating the elephant in small chunks,” right? I knew I didn’t want to change things so drastically that I would quit. I had to make small, measurable, and realistic changes to my life. Changes I could stick to for the long run. 

I wrote my plan down (I even added a plan B) and began the process that would lead me up the mountain. 

They say to accomplish any goal that you must have a burning desire for success and commitment to the goal. Perhaps, in retrospect, that was what was missing. I don’t know that I started off with a burning desire.  But climbing the small hills gave me confidence to form the burning desire for success.  When I learned that I could be successful at the small chunks of the elephant the entire elephant seemed much more manageable. 

Every day I ask myself what one thing I can do to help me achieve my larger goal. Part of my plan includes an accountability statement. I know this about myself, but I needed someone who loved me enough to support me and tell me I had to keep going when I really wanted to quit. Everyone needs a cheerleader, or a cheering section for that matter. I needed help and someone who would conquer the fears of the gym and discover healthy eating with me. I referenced my Army life and the times I have had hard times and needed help (deployment anyone?). Immediately, I considered it time for a “battle buddy.” 

Battle buddy in tow, I ask myself what do I want to prove to others that I am capable of accomplishing?

Have I accomplished my goal? Not yet. I’m still working on the molehills. Every time I think of the mountain it scares me, even now.  But, the little changes have become habit. When I see completion of one, then two, then three hills I know (and yes I do have to tell myself this all the time) that the mountain is not insurmountable. One day I’ll turn around at the top of the mountain and I’ll look down along the journey that it took to get there and I can be proud of everything I’ve accomplished. It won’t beat me, I’m a success.