Dear, Ms. Vicki,

"I need your help. I was maried for 19 months and have a 2-year-old baby with my wife.

"We seperated prior to me leaving for Iraq in November 2008. Our agreement was that I would continue to send her all of my money while deployed to show my support to my son. I hoped she would allow me to talk with him when I could -- which didn't happen a lot -- and that upon my return, she would give me half of what was saved. 

"Since being deployed my soon-to-be ex-spouse -- not legally mind you-- is engaged to another man and pregnant. This will be her third child . She lost custody of her first child to her first ex-husband. We're not divorced or have filed due to me just arriving back from Iraq two weeks ago. She's very unstable. 

"Upon my arrival, I've had the pleasure of being with my son for a wonderful two weeks. I will return him to his mom soon.

 

"I have no money -- I didn't want to be a dead-beat dad and wanted to do what was right. I sent her more than $50,000 during my year away. But, I need money to get my life back.

"What are my rights to recieve my repayment and also my two-year-old? I want at least  half if not 100 percent due to her erratic, irresponsible lifestyle. Help me please!"

-- A Sgt.

Oh my God, Sgt.! 

First of all let me say that I’m glad you are back. I know you hear this all of the time but I truly thank you for your service and your sacrifice to our country. 

Sgt., why did you marry her if you knew she was so erratic? Why did you continue to fund the checking account if you knew that she was not being accountable with the funds you provided? 

I don’t mean to sound like I’m beating you down because I’m not. It’s just that I hear this story all of the time. Servicemembers come home to a spouse who drained every account,  left them in debt, and is pregnant with someone else’s child. You truly deserve better than this. 

Listen, you must get legal advice quickly. I don’t know if you'll be able to recoup these funds, but at least you have proof. Please start with your legal office on base. They'll let you know if anything can be done about your money and getting custody of your son. They should also let you know if you should work with a civilian attorney. 

I really hope everything works out in your favor. This is a very emotional subject that could lead to ire. Please be careful and try to have little to no contact with your wife as possible, this could lead to an explosion and I don’t want you to be involved with any physical or verbal conflict with her. 

I’m on your side, okay. Please keep in touch with me and let me know how everything turns out. Turn to close family and friends for support ok. I wish you only the best.