Dear Sgt. Shaft,

My husband was discharged from the military in 1971 or there about and had always dreamed of owning a home. We made a few attempts, but nothing ever came of owning a home of our own. He passed away suddenly on Sept. 2.

I would like to know if, now that he has passed, do I qualify to receive a Veterans Affairs loan as a veterans widow? I have a good job, but don't have my husband. I would love to make his dream come true.

Please let me know what you know about this subject.

Thank you,
Peggy M

Dear Peggy

The unmarried surviving spouse of a veteran who died on active duty or as the result of a service-connected disability is eligible for the home loan benefit. If you wish to apply for the home loan benefit as a surviving spouse, contact the VA Winston-Salem Eligibility Center. In addition, a surviving spouse who obtained a VA home loan with the veteran prior to his or her death (regardless of the cause of death), may obtain a VA guaranteed interest rate reduction refinance loan. For more information, contact the VA Winston- Salem Eligibility Center.

Also, a surviving spouse who remarries on or after attaining age 57, and on or after Dec. 16, 2003, may be eligible for the home loan benefit. However, a surviving spouse who remarried before Dec. 16, 2003, and on or after attaining age 57, must have applied no later than Dec. 15, 2004, to establish home loan eligibility. VA must deny applications from surviving spouses who remarried before Dec. 16, 2003, that were received after Dec. 15, 2004.

For more information, check the Web site: http://www.homeloans.va.gov/.

Dear Sgt. Shaft:

It is my understanding that crucial legislation, the Caregiver and Veterans Health Services Act (S. 801), is being held hostage by one senator who insists that the cost of the bill be offset in the federal budget.

I find it most ironic that our government can pay for the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq off budget but can't take care of disabled veterans or their family caregivers because of costs. Just what message does that send to a mother who is out of work and in debt because she is providing care to her severely disabled son or daughter who was injured serving our country?

The types of injuries suffered by our service members in these wars are in many cases so severe that family members put their lives on hold to care for their loved ones. These family caregivers often face devastating financial and emotional hardships as they help their wounded sons, daughters, husbands and wives. Unfortunately, they do not receive sufficient support services or financial assistance from the government.

What is needed is an array of support services for family caregivers, such as respite care, financial compensation, vocational counseling, basic health care, relationship, marriage and family counseling, and mental health care. Our government has an obligation to provide the support and services that are essential to caregivers while they provide for our disabled veterans. The Caregiver and Veterans Health Services Act should be voted on and passed without further delay.

Sincerely,
Joseph A. Violante
National Legislative Director
Disabled American Veterans

Dear Joe,

Ditto and thanks for your information. The ALS Association is encouraging caregivers to voice their concerns about their own health as well as the people who require their help round-the-clock during National Family Caregivers Month in November.

The theme of National Family Caregivers Month is "SpeakUp" and when caregivers speak up the ALS Association is there to listen and help make their lives as easy as possible.

"Most caregivers do not have the time to ask for help because they are too busy meeting the needs of others," said Sharon Matland, vice president of patient services for the association. "It is our responsibility as an organization to be extra diligent in reaching out to them."

As part of National Family Caregivers Month, the association is launching "Show You Care," a national campaign to recognize some of the thousands of local primary caregivers critical to protecting and enhancing the quality of life for individuals living with ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis). The daily challenges faced by caregivers, whose own health is adversely affected by providing care on a round the clock basis, will be detailed in a series of profiles featured on the association's Web site.

"One of the most important attributes of being an advocate for your loved one is the willingness and the ability to speak up and keep your eye on the ultimate goal, protecting not only the health and safety of your loved ones but for yourself as well," states the Web site for the National Family Caregivers Association, which organizes National Family Caregivers Month each year.

Providing constant care takes its emotional and physical toll on caregivers. Signs of burnout include anger, anxiety, depression, feeling overwhelmed and guilty, sleeplessness, premature aging and other symptoms. Studies show that 75 percent of all caregivers are going it alone without help from family and friends.

"If Americans need heroes they need not look any further than the caregivers in their own families," Ms. Matland said. "These are among the most courageous people you will ever meet. They continually give of themselves to provide whatever is needed."

Caregivers increasingly include the husbands, wives and, in some cases, the children of military veterans with ALS. That is because military veterans are approximately twice as likely to develop ALS as the general public.

• Send letters to Sgt. Shaft, c/o John Fales, P.O. Box 65900, Washington, DC 20035-5900; fax 301/622-3330, call 202/257-5446 or e-mail sgtshaft@bavf.org.