Ms. Vicki,

"My parents were married during my father's entire active-duty career. He retired as a colonel in the Air Force. They divorced after his retirement and he re-married. My mother is now in her 80s and never remarried. Is she entitled to any retirement benefits after he's  deceased? Will she still be eligible for TRICARE?" 

Thanks, 

B.D. 

Hi B.D., 

Well, this should have been determined in their divorce decree. If you have it, I would check out the stipulations. If not then visit the following websites for more information: www.tricare.com also www.va.gov -- there is a link for survivors benefits. Both websites list their contact numbers also. Please give your mother my best and keep in touch with me on this issue. 

Hi Ms. Vicki, 

"I just recently got engaged in August to the love of my life the day after he completed BCT. 

We're set to marry in mid to late December, so we can try and get me set up with him on his orders. He hasn't received his orders just yet, but believes he will in October. 

I wanted to know will legally getting married in December set me up in time to be locked on to his orders? And will I also still have all my belongings moved to our duty station so I don't have to pay for moving expenses "out of pocket"? Or do we need to get legally married before his orders are given to him? 

Is there more paperwork that must be done on his or my end that will benefit our efforts at the needed time? Regardless, I know that no matter what, what his platoon sergeant says goes, but I just need to know when we must be legally married and what information they must have in order for it all to work out . I appreciate any answer you can give me and thank you for your time."  

Sincerely, 

Super Stressed Bride-to-Be

Dear Bride–to-Be, 

You need to be married before he's given orders or the military will not pay for your household goods to be moved or give him extra pay for your travel expenses. I know that the economy is tight for everyone and planning a wedding is stressful, too. 

Keep in mind this will be the only time you will be in this situation. After you're married you'll always be included in his orders when he is assigned to an accompanied area. I don’t want you to feel too stressed out. If you don’t move up the wedding date then solicit the help of supportive family and friends to help you plan a move. It sounds like you have a many obligations right now. Just take it easy. I wish you only the best. Take care of yourself and let me know what you decide. I know things will work out. 

Dear Vicki,

"I'm married to an active-duty servicemember. We have been married for three years and it's just not working out. I left my husband in January 2008  before he deployed the following February. JAG sent his unit a letter stating that he should start sending me the BAH. A month later he sent nothing. I called his commander, and he said he would  take care of it. Two months later I still didn't receive anything. 

It wasn't until October 2008 that I recieved something.  Now that he returned from his deployment he's stopped paying. He's now in school reclassifing. We're no longer together  and I want to get a divorce but I can't afford to do it right now. In this economy it's hard to make ends meet.  I’m not a greedy woman. I just want what the military said I should have. How can I get what I’m entitled to?"

Sincerely, 

Frustrated and Separated

Dear Frustrated,

From the report of others who were in your situation you will have this dilemma until you do one of the following: file for a divorce or a legal separation. Either way, these are legally binding documents that he must abide by. 

They will state spousal support if applicable. At this time, he is able to get away with not paying you anything. I think a judge should decide. I know you are strapped for cash, but you have to find a way to get some legal help, if his next commander decides to not get involved. 

Thank you for writing me. Please continue to take care of yourself. Keep in touch.