Ma’am, 

"I have a friend that loves to read your postings on Military.Com and got me hooked. 

I’m in the Air National Guard and I love what I do, I just recently got engaged to a wonderful man that I love with all my heart. He too is a Guard member and I hope you can help us.

We’ve talked about children and how much I want them, only we have a little bit of a problem. He’s unable to have children because his ex-wife wanted him to get a vasectomy. 

He got one and now he wishes that he didn’t. I’ve looked into the reversal and I must say that I’m afraid that we won’t be able to afford to get it done. We’ve also looked at invitro fertilization and that to would cost us a lot of money, too.

Do you know if the military will pay or help us pay for this procedure? I know that our civilian health insurance will not cover this.

I love him dearly and I know that it breaks his heart when we talk about it and that there’s a good chance that I’ll never be able to experience the wonderful gift of having and carrying my own children with him. This is my last hope. I’ve almost given up on us having a child together. 

Any help that you could give would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time."

Dear Need to Expand Military Family,

Thank you for writing me and for sharing your situation with me. This is a good question. 

I did some checking at the major military hospital here in my area and I didn’t get a definitive answer. Some answers I received were “yes,” “absolutely not,”  “maybe,” and “depends on the situation.” 

This leads me to say that your fiancé should make an appointment with his primary care physician for a consultation as soon as possible. If the military would pay for any procedure this doctor would know for sure and could make proper referral to other clinics as appropriate. I wish you and your fiancé all the best. Please write me and let me know what information you glean so I can share the information with other readers. 

Dear Ms. Vicki,  

"This couple, a Soldier and his wife, moved into our neighborhood. The other day, the wife invited me over to their house for coffee and cake.

When I went there and looked at all of their photos on their wall, I almost fell over. I recognized him — I dated him a couple of months after we had met online. 

First, he pretended he was single, and I started liking him. One time he invited me over to his house (they lived somewhere else then). It was then that he admitted he was "living with somebody." We would meet at his place while she was at work. 

He started talking bad about her and that she was overly jealous and controlling. I have to admit I did like him a lot but the fact that he probably would treat me the same way he treated her. Even if they did get a divorce he’s not what I want. I had my own experience with this with my ex-husband who cheated on me. I’m just trying to get my life in order now. 

I hope he won’t approach me and keep his mouth shut.  She’s so into her handsome husband that she doesn’t realize she’s making a fool of herself. 

Should I drop a hint or do something? I mean … she’ll be the last to know what kind of jerk she’s got at home who’s pretending he’s such a good husband."

 

Dear Don’t Know What to Do, 

Thank you for writing and sharing this with me. We have an old saying in Texas: Let’s put the skunk on the table. This means, I’ll get to the point real quick. Leave this man and his wife alone!

It’s her husband and if she is being a fool, she’ll soon discover this on her on. If she were your sister or your best friend it would be a different story. However, in this case he’s a married man who pretended he was single.

What position does this really put you in? It put’s you in “no position.” 

At this point you were another woman he bedded. I’m sure he does this all of the time. He’s a lowdown dude who should be ashamed of himself. But, the only thing you should do is continue to move forward and as you said “try to get your life in order.”You’re right, you deserve better. 

Don’t visit with his wife again. And if I were you, I would never let her know what happened. I wouldn’t have any further contact with her husband either. Trust me, this will be a no-win situation for you. Take your time in any future relationships and don’t rush in to bed with anyone. Keep in touch with me when you can.