Back-to-School 101: Family Meetings

Ah, it’s that time again, back to school time. It’s time for schedules, uniforms, and homework but it’s also a great time to start a new family tradition. Keeping my children busy during the summer was a task, however keeping us scheduled during the school year is an event. You know what I mean — between soccer, cheerleading, Girl Scouts, and homework we have to fit in dinner. What’s a mom to do? To keep us all on the same page and to eliviate some of the stress of our back-to-school lives we’ve adopted a new tradition in family meetings. This has been such a helpful thing for our family I thought I’d pass it along to yours.

The basic process behind a family meeting is taking time and setting it aside to communicate. This allows time for family discussions, decision making, problem solving, and encouragement and cooperation. You’ll be amazed what your family will agree to when they all have a say in it. Don’t worry this meeting doesn’t have to be formal or structured, though it can be if you want it to — it’s up to you. The most important part is that everyone has an opportunity to be heard and has an opportunity to contribute.

You can utilize family meetings on a regular basis to do just about anything such as deciding on the meal plan for the week, mapping out the family schedule, or even distributing chores. You can call a one-time meeting for a specific purpose like a holiday party or a trip to Grandma’s. In our military world, set a meeting for deployments or making the sign to welcome home our Soldier.

Here are tips for effective family meetings:

If done regularly, set a specific regular meeting time.

Establish and stick to time limits.

Utilize a “talking stick” so that everyone can be heard and have a turn talking.

Encourage everyone to bring up issues, those you cannot solve, “park” until next time.

Don’t permit meetings to become gripe sessions.

Utilize meeting time to plan family outings or “fun.”

Listen with sensitivity, speak with respect, and never put anyone down.

Evaluate your meeting with an “after action review.”

Remember family meetings are for family discussion not therapy sessions.

Rotate leadership of the meeting and allow children to lead meetings.

Establish family norms for the meeting (i.e. Do you want an agenda? Do you always meet at the table? etc.).

Establish a “command center” for your family (i.e. the computer deks, the refrigerator) where all members can post notes and schedules to communicate with each other.

It is critical for family members to share the positives – say what we all did good this week.

I’m confident these tips and a little ingenuity and motivation will put you on the path to a fabulously effective family tradition. Sharpen your pencils, get the kids on the bus, and start planning your first family meeting.

Check out Cinchouse.com or Military.com's Spouse Network to get more ideas on keeping your Military family connected.